Uncover the truth behind Romantic Love

Oh, the power of romantic love! It is the most beautiful experience in the world but can become the cruelest and darkest of experiences. It beautifies us, yet has the potential to bring out the worst in us.

Why has God created us to love?

Romantic Love, in essence, is Spiritual. We only need to look at the love stories, the poetry, the songs and we find that a man-in-love has made of woman a symbol of something universal, something inward, eternal, and transcendent. He sees a special reality revealed in her; he feels completed, ennobled, refined, spiritualized, uplifted, transformed into a new, better, and whole man being with the women he loves.
We use words like ‘god’ and ‘goddess’ to describe our lovers, the experience is described as ‘perfect,’ ‘complete,’ and ‘out of this world.’ We feel raptured, fully connected, at peace, nothing can go wrong. We believe we can conquer the world. We’re full of new hope, energy, and ecstasy! We can see no fault in our lover. Romantic love is the most powerful motion and the most passionate of causes on earth. It makes people do things they would never have done before. When we fall in love, we feel alive; our senses are awakened to a newness and freshness of life not like at any other moment in our lives. Oh but the agony of love lost! The realization that it was only a moment! The depression and horror one face, when this love cannot be consummated are despair like no other. People commit suicide! They want to end it all. The rage one feels when romantic love disappoints have led in some cases to crimes of passion.
The Bible says this love is stronger than death, and many waters cannot quench it! It’s flames are fire, a most vehement fire! Song 8:6-7
When we “fall in love” we feel completed, as though a missing part of ourselves has been returned to us; we feel uplifted, as though we were suddenly raised above the level of the ordinary world. Life in love has an intensity, a glory, an ecstasy, and transcendence. We seek in romantic love to be possessed by our love, to soar to the heights, to find ultimate meaning and fulfillment in our beloved. We’re looking for the feeling of wholeness.

Romantic love is not an emotion it is a drive.

Romantic love moves us. Let’s read Helen Fisher’s scientific conclusion on Romantic Love:

I study the brain in love. My colleagues and I have put forty-nine people who were madly in love into a brain scanner (hmri). Seventeen had just fallen happily in love; fifteen had just been rejected in love; seventeen were men and women in their fifties who maintained they were still “in love” with their spouse after an average of twenty- one years of marriage. All showed activity in a tiny factory near the base of the brain that pumps out dopamine—the neural liquor that gives you the energy, focus, craving, and motivation associated with intense romantic passion — what the ancient Greeks called “the madness of the gods.” Helen Fisher.

According to Fisher her studies has shown that Sexual drive is what drives us to find a partner to reproduce. Romantic Love is the drive that keeps us together long enough for the infant to be out of danger, which is between 12 – 18 months. Because of the very high levels of dopamine which helps creativity, people tend to write their experiences in poems and songs. We, therefore, have more than enough evidence of just how powerful romantic love can be, by studying the words and expressions of the poets.

The place where Romantic love occurs in the brain is associated with obsession, high-risk gambling, compulsive disorders and drug-addicts. When love is lost, the same withdrawal symptoms occur as seen among addicts. The place where romantic love happens in the brain is right at the core called the reptilian brain. It is below the emotional, and cognitive part of the brain, responsible for feelings of reward, motivation, wanting, focus and craving. Feeling the rush of cocaine would also occur in exactly the same place. But it is much more than a cocaine rush, at least you come down from the effect. Romantic love is an obsession, it possesses you, you loose all sense of self, and cannot stop thinking of the object of your love. It is like someone is camping in your head. Not getting the person you love actually increases the effect. You just cannot get him or her out of your head. Romantic love affects the part of our brain, where we calculate and measure and are willing to take impossible high risks. This is why many lovers are willing to loose it all to win the prize of my love! They are willing to take any risk, and pay any prize to see love fulfilled. Fisher

Romantic love is a need, it’s an addiction.

Romantic love has the same symptoms than addiction: tolerance, withdrawal, relapse. You’re willing to endure all kinds of suffering, to be with the one you love. When love is not fulfilled, and you cannot have your love it leads to withdrawal symptoms physically and emotionally. And it takes one picture months and even years later to start it all again with the same vigorous power it had on your in the beginning.
Surely this is why the Sullumite begs “do not awaken love before it’s time!” This is a power that has brought great men to their end and ruin! It is a fantastic power to enjoy and nurture for a lifetime in marriage, but it can be a destroying power when you do not guard your heart. David the great spiritual King of Israel, the man that God said he loves as a friend, this man fell in love with the end-result being adultery and murder! What is the lesson we learn from history? No person is immune to its power.
The stories of Christian leaders and respectable men and women who have fallen from grace are enumerable! Daily we hear of another divorce, another sexual immoral act performed by Christian Believers.
I believe the answer has been looking us in the face for centuries! From the beginning to the end of the Bible God is calling us to one thing:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength!” 95% of people will acknowledge the fact that they have loved and it was not to be, or that they have disappointed another who have loved. Not many have escaped the tragedy of love not effectuated. We are all in some form of relapse. Looking on Facebook for clues, glimpses of what could have been. The sorrow of regret and the agony of being rejected are heavy loads to carry and tug alongside us throughout life. Did we marry the wrong person? Surely this cannot be it! How can something so perfect now feel so normal and boring? Where is the excitement? Where is the glory?

The truth is romantic love wears off!

According to the Imago therapists, romantic love is only the first stage of any relationship. The second stage is the power struggle. That is where we become aware of each other’s faults, bad habits, and differences. It happens to all of us. That first spiritual enlightened moment has gone by, and here we are settled in a rut.

What is God’s purpose for romantic love.

Let us look at this answer again? Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. I sincerely do not believe God created us with the ability to fall in love, to be heart-broken for a lifetime. Surely no one is perfect and we cannot prevent ourselves from hurt, and offense! (Luk 17:2) Somewhere our bubble is going to burst. It is in God that this love is nurtured and fulfilled! It is in Him that we discover all the glory, fullness and perfection. It is His love that completes us and makes us whole. When we are firstly and foremostly in love with Him, then we can happily fall in love with someone, who has also surrendered his or her heart to Him. His love heals us from all selfishness and makes us the best partner to be with.
Religious formality and traditions will never satisfy man’s hunger for a loving God. It is only when we experience God personally and powerfully in our own lives, that we begin to look at Him with new eyes. It is when we discover for ourselves the light in His eyes, that our heart turns violently in our core! We fall in love with God! This is the core of worship – LOVE! Pouring out our love on Him, is what completes us. This is reason why we were made. This the point of life – Misty Edwards.
Romantic love is deeply personal and focused. Until we love God this way, and fall for Him we are truly lost. This is why God is a God of encounters, He is involved in our lives. He heals, and set people free. He does miracles and signs so that we can see His love. Give your heart to Him! Let your soul finally be satisfied with the true love you seek – God. This is why He gave us the Holy Spirit, so that we can feel Him, sense Him. This is why we need to be in a church, were people passionately loves God, because this love is contagious! God’s love is not selfish and self-serving. When we love Him, He teaches us to go and love likewise. He shares His love, and wants us to share it too.
Finally: a word to young people and single people. When you fall in love with someone that is not saved and born again, when romantic love subsides and fades away, you will find yourself committed, engaged and married to someone that does not have your values, mindset, perspective, identity, habits nor focus. This leads to much pain and resentment later, that ultimately leads to divorce. This person should find Christ before you commit and go deeper in the relationship.
The person you commit to should know beforehand who you are, and your desire to follow Jesus, and His ways! Do not compromise on this! What you compromise to win, you will loose! Your romantic affection makes you believe he/she is an angel and perfect, but they’re not! It’s the chemicals in your brain messing with your head! It is easy to fall in love with someone, but it is really hard to keep falling in love with a person who does not change and become more and more Christlike as they grow older. This only happens in marriages where both partners are fully committed in their walk with God.
Purposefully fill your life with God. Let His love heal and restore you completely. Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, strength and mind!!!

Social Relevance

WALK – Holiness, poverty, and relationship-reform

Caring for the Poor, Biblical Mandate: Summery of “When helping hurts” How to alleviate poverty without hurting the poor and yourself. 
Steve Corbett
What was the focus of Jesus’ Ministry?
Luke 4:17–21 
And He was handed the book of the prophet Isaiah. And when He had opened the book, He found the place where it was written:
“The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD.”
Then He closed the book, and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all who were in the synagogue were fixed on Him. And He began to say to them, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”
When Jesus’ Ministry was tested and questioned by John the baptist:
Luke 7:22–23 
Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things you have seen and heard: that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.”
Jesus Focussed on the poor: and wants us to focus on the poor:
Matthew 25:44–46 
“Then they also will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’ Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
This is the fulfillment of the OT plan God had for Isreal:
Isaiah 1:17 
Learn to do good;
Seek justice,
Rebuke the oppressor;
Defend the fatherless,
Plead for the widow.
Deuteronomy 15:4 
except when there may be no poor among you; for the LORD will greatly bless you in the land which the LORD your God is giving you to possess as an inheritance—
God gave Moses numerous commands in-  structing Israel to care for the poor. The Sabbath  guaranteed a day of rest for the slave and alien (Ex.  23:10–12). The Sabbath year canceled debts for Is-  raelites, allowed the poor to glean from the fields,  and set slaves free as well as equipping the slaves to  be productive (Deut. 15:1–18). The Jubilee year  emphasized liberty; it released slaves and returned  land to its original owners (Lev. 25:8–55). Other laws  about debt, tithing, and gleaning ensured that the  poor would be cared for each day of the year (Lev.  25:35–38; Deut. 14:28–29; Lev. 19:9–10). The com-  mands were so extensive that they were designed to  achieve the ultimate goal of eradicating poverty  among God’s people: “There should be no poor  among you,” God declared (Deut. 15:4). 
God judges our worship as fruitless and futile if we neglect the poor:
Personal piety and formal worship are essential to  the Christian life, but they must lead to lives that  “act justly and love mercy” (Mic. 6:8). 
Throughout the New  Testament, care of the poor is a vital concern of the  church (Matt. 25:31–46; Acts 6:1–7; Gal. 2:1–10; 6:10James 1:27). Perhaps no passage states it more suc-  cinctly than 1 John 3:16–18
God’s answer to the poverty question of mankind is His kingdom:
The kingdom is the renewal of the whole world through the entrance of supernatural forces. As things are brought back under Christ’s rule and authority, they are restored to health, beauty, and free- dom.
Jesus Ministry started preaching the Kingdom: Mat 4:17 instructing His disciples to do the same: Luke 9:2; Luke 10:9 and the first church did the same: Acts 4:34; 10:45
The way God shows His Kingdom to the World is by using the poor, the weak en simple to display His glory:
James 2:5 
Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?
1 Corinthians 1:26–29 
For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.
Poor people typically talk in terms of shame, inferiority, powerlessness, humiliation, fear, hopelessness, depression, social isolation, and voicelessness.
God established four foundational relationships for each person: a relationship with God, with self, with others, and with the rest of creation (see figure 2.1).¹⁴ These relationships are  the building blocks for all of life. When they are  functioning properly, humans experience the full-  ness of life that God intended, because we are being  what God created us to be
Poverty is the result of relationships that do not work, that are not just, that are not for life, that are not harmonious or enjoyable. Poverty is the absence of shalom in all its meanings
Every human being is suffering from a poverty of spiritual intimacy, a poverty of being, a poverty of community, and a poverty of stewardship.
The materially poor are trapped by multiple, interconnected factors—insufficient assets, vulnerability, powerlessness, isolation, and physical weakness— that ensnare them like bugs caught in a spider’s web.¹⁷ Imagine being caught in such a web.
According to Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen, it is this lack of freedom to be able to make meaningful choices—to have an ability to affect one’s situation—that is the distinguishing feature of poverty
Poverty alleviation is the ministry of reconciliation: moving people closer to glorifying God by living in right relationship with God, with self, with others, and with the rest of creation. Material poverty alleviation is working to reconcile the four foundational relationships so that people can fulfill their callings of glorifying God by working and supporting themselves and their families with the fruit of that work.
We are building people, leaders, community, an economic base, and capacity, not a product for profit.

STAND – Resurrected into a new Life in Christ

Elijah – stood for justice but most of all he was a prophet calling his people from backsliding to devotion and holiness unto God. Often he laments; “GOD I am standing alone”

When studying this passage it becomes clear that this wonderful miracle of God vindicating his faith was initiated by God. ‘Hear me, O Lord, hear me, that this people may know that You are the Lord God, and that You have turned their hearts back to You again.’ 1 King 18:37 The similar kind of prayer was prayed when Jesus raised Lazarus. Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they might believe that You sent Me.” Joh 11:42

Two of the greatest miracles in the Bible and it is done without much fanfare, pomp, elaboration and outward expressiveness. This simplicity is one of the reasons we believe the gospel writer’s account of what happened in Jesus’ life. Embellished and extravagant details are strong signs that a historical account has legendary elements. The Gospels give matter-of-fact, almost bland descriptions of the Resurrection. Excerpt From: “I Don’t Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist (Foreword by David Limbaugh)” by Norman L. Geisler. Scribd.

And when I came to you, brothers and sisters, proclaiming to you the testimony of God [concerning salvation through Christ], I did not come with superiority of speech or of wisdom [no lofty words of eloquence or of philosophy as a Greek orator might do]; for I made the decision to know nothing [that is, to forego philosophical or theological discussions regarding inconsequential things and opinions while] among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified [and the meaning of His redemptive, substitutionary death and His resurrection]. And my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom [using clever rhetoric], but [they were delivered] in demonstration of the [Holy] Spirit [operating through me] and of [His] power [stirring the minds of the listeners and persuading them], so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom and rhetoric of men, but on the power of God.
1 CORINTHIANS 2:1‭-‬2‭, ‬4‭-‬5 AMP


This wonderful sign did not change or move the heart of the people. Jezebel pursued him and tried to kill him. Because all signs and wonders points to a higher and greater reality, that of a lifestyle of obedience and holiness. We are the most healed and whole when we are the most like Jesus. A whole heart, free from iniquity, vile, or deceit.

The focus on healing, signs & wonders, prosperity, wealth, victory, miracles in the Pentecostal church in Africa will either testify against them of for them if it does not lead to holiness, reconciliation, repentance, humility, meekness, truth, and people reflecting Jesus to the World.

Prosperity without God at the center is materialism.
Work without God at the center is slavery – because of mistaken identity
Words without corresponding action as our testimony leads to atheism
Worship without a lifestyle of obedience is witchcraft.
Outward impressiveness without the inner reality of Godliness is religion


Joe Church stayed with friends on Namirembe Hill and on the Sunday morning walked up to the cathedral. Outside it was an African standing by his motor-bike. His name was Simeoni Nsibambi. ‘There is something missing in me and the Uganda church. Can you tell what it is?’ Simeoni asked Joe. The two men spent two days studying the Bible and praying together. In a subsequent letter home, Joe wrote. There can be nothing to stop a real outpouring of the Holy Spirit in Rwanda now except our own lack of sanctification.’ Both men were transformed and Joe went back to Gahini in Rwanda a new person. Immediately conversions began to take place, and Christians started to confess faults and resentments to one another. Forgiveness was experienced and broken relationships restored.

– public repentance and forgiveness
– no more schisms and divisions tolerated, reconciliation on all levels.
– restitution
– Bible Study & Prayer
– missions, evangelism, church plants
– high standard in work ethic, no more corruption

A true revival cannot have self-propelled vessels. Isa 33:21


God is calling the church in Uganda to maturity: children makes a lot of noise, not having substance. This speaks of a position in God, a standing in God. Before we can attempt to stand in this world for God, we have to lay down and surrender to God. Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:7-8

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months. And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit. James 5:13-18


The English word righteousness comes from the Anglo-Saxon word, rightwiseness, wise in that which is right. In the original Greek it is “Dikaiosune” meaning two parties finding a likeness in one another, to join, to be set at one again. We become wise when we realize our oneness with God in Christ.

This speaks of a position in God, a standing in God. Before we can attempt to stand in this world for God, we have to lay down and surrender to God. Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:7-8

Paul alloborates this clearly in Ephesus
Sit, stand, walk – This position is not attained through works or effort of man but through faith in His work. My complete trust is in His finished work. This is why we always start sitting. Sitting in heavenly places. Eph 2:6

Our first position of departure is always surrendered.

Elijah did not strive and performed rituals like the false prophets. He simply obeyed an instruction God gave him, and God did the rest.

The one thing the world has seen enough of, is man standing. Rebellion, entitlement, pride, arrogance, even for the right cause brings anarchy, pain and war. We instead learn to die to self, take up our cross, and follow His way. Mat 16:24

When Jesus is doing the standing in you, he works meekness, humility and gentleness in us that is much more powerful weapons. 2 cor 10:3-6 than the works of the flesh.

Once this is achieved Jesus will stand in you, all the time. His life, way, values and character becomes the weapons of our warfare

Meekness – (before God)
Gentleness – (before man)
Humility – (before myself)