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Hou verhoudings heilig deur die Leiding vd Heilige Gees

Ek is met ’n man getroud wat regtig die 1 Kor 13 pad van die liefde stap. In ons bediening het ek dit al telkemale beleef (hy is geduldig, vriendelik en soms uiters lankmoedig)l. En dit het my tot die besef laat kom, ons stap nie graag weg van mense nie, maar hulle kan (vir watter rede ook al) van ons af wegstap.
Ek praat nou nie hier van wanneer ’n broer teenoor jou sondig nie, of die liggaam en God se koninkryk aanhoudelik skade doen deur sy lewe nie. Ek praat hier van ons daaglikse lewe en ritme met mense. Ons is in ’n huweliksverhouding, werksverhouding (werkgewer/werknemer verhouding), gemeente verhouding, daar is ouers en kinders verhoudings, vriendskapsverhouding. En so gaan die lys van verhoudings aan, en elke verhouding het ’n moeilikheidsgraad en ’n uitdaging of twee.
Verhoudings het uitdagings, ook omdat ons waardes soms verskil. Ek beleef onlangs hoe die Heilige Gees met my praat, behou die ‘heilig’ van verhoudings. Dit is eers ’n vreemde konsep. Ek verstaan iets van God die Vader se hart, ek ken Jesus deurdat ek Hom aangeneem het, en ’n lewende verhouding met Hom het, en ek word gelei deur die Heilige Gees. En skielik besef ek, die werk van die Heilige Gees is heilig. En dit is nou Hy wat in my werk. Ek moet mediteer op dit wat mooi is, wat heilig is.
“Verder, broeders, alles wat waar is, alles wat eerbaar is, alles wat regverdig is, alles wat rein is, alles wat lieflik is, alles wat loflik is – watter deug en watter lof daar ook mag wees, bedink dit.” Fil. 4:8
As ons Hom toelaat in ons verhoudings, sal Hy dit heilig. Behou die mooi van dit wat was, mediteer op die mooi, op die Christus wat jy in mense kan sien. Selfs mense van wie jy verskil. Dit sal jou hart vry hou van offence en bitterheid. En dan (as ek vry is) kan die Here Sy werk wat Hy in my begin het voltooi.
Ons is net verantwoordelik vir dit wat in ons eie harte aangaan. En ja, ons ken die skrif in Jeremia so goed wat lees bedrieglik is die hart bo alle dinge. Dit is so maklik wanneer ons ’n fout in iemand anders se lewe sien om te dink dat daardie persoon se hart bedrieglik is, maar weet vandag verseker, ons eie hart kan ons bedrieg. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is extremely sick; Who can understand it fully and know its secret motives?” Jer. 17:9
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Prov 4:23

Wanneer ons ons harte vry hou van offence, bitterheid en kwaad, kan die Here aanhou om ons te gebruik as Sy boodskappers van geloof, hoop en liefde. Beywer julle vir vrede met alle mense asook vir ‘n heilige lewe, waarsonder niemand die Here sal sien nie. Heb 12:14

Ek glo nie dat die meeste mense elke oggend wakker word en dink, wie kan ek vandag sleg behandel, of indoen nie. Daar is sekerlik enkele sulke mense, en ons vermy hulle waar ons kan, en wanneer hulle teenoor ons oortree het, leef ons in vergifnis met hulle (omdat dit God se plan is, al is hulle nie meer deel van my lewe nie). Ek glo die meerderheid mense se motief is goed, want ons is na God se beeld geskape, daar is iets moois en goeds in elkeen van ons. Ek kies om te leef met die verwagting dat mense goed is, amazing is, en dat hulle reg aan my sal doen. Ek leef ook ’n lewe gelei deur die Heilige Gees, en vertrou Hom om my te lei, in en deur elke verhouding wat oor my pad kom.
“Ten slotte : julle lewe moet altyd vol blydskap wees. Lewe presies net soos God vir jul se. Luister na alles wat ek vir julle gesê het. Wees eensgesind. En lewe asseblief in vrede met mekaar. Ons wonderlike God wat sy liefde oor ons almal uitgestort het en aan ons Sy vrede gee, sal altyd by julle wees.” 2 Kor 13:11 DB
Ons weet wanneer daar nie vrede in verhoudings is nie, is daar ook nie vreugde nie. Behou die heilig van verhoudings, sover as moontlik.
Soos die dissipels van ouds, wil ek ook amper bid, Here, gee my meer geloof 🙂

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Die ‘ek is’ beginsel – God se teenmiddel teen minderwaardigheid

Die mees belangrikste uitspraak in jou lewe begin met: Ek is…

Jesus se versoeking het die “ek is” uitspraak in Sy lewe bevraagteken: “As jy dan regtig die Seun van God is,” (Mat 4:3) As die vyand ons onkant betrap rondom ons identiteit, dan vang Hy ons in Sy strik van leuens om uiteidelik sy wil te doen. (2 Tim 2:26) Dit is wesenlik belangrik dat ons elkeen moet weet ‘wie’ ons is.  Jou skeppingsdoel is in werklikheid Christus. (Rom 8:29) Alhoewel ons nooit fisies soos Jesus kan wees nie, wil God dat ons soos Hy sal dink, optree en leef. Hy is die beste manier om te leef. Sy waardes en motiewe is suiwer! Hy is die volmaakte wil van God. Ons is dus die mooiste mense, wanneer ons die meeste soos Hy is.  Die basis van ‘belief therapy’ wat in tronke en rehabilitasie sentrums gebruik word is: Wat jy oor jouself glo, bepaal jou gedrag en keuses.

Maar ons skeppingsdoel gaan ook verder as dit.  God het ‘n plan met elkeen van ons, en sodra ons daardie plan verstaan kan ons ‘n lewe van sin en betekenis leef.  (2 Pet 1:10) Die ek is het eerstens nie te doen met wat ons kan doen en vermag nie. Because God created us as ‘Beings’ not ‘Doings’!  Mense wat deur trauma gaan wil net iemand teenwoordig hê, jy hoef niks te doen nie.  Ouer mense wat teen die einde van hulle leeftyd nie meer al die dinge wat hulle eers kon doen meer vermag nie, is nie nou minder werd en belangrik nie.  Hulle teenwoordigheid, wie hulle was is vir ons belangrik! Jy is eerstens ‘n gees mens. Wie jy in die Gees is, jou teenwoordigheid, jou gesindheid is bepalend.  Iemand met ‘n verkeerde gees, kan ‘n hele vertrek mense negatief beïnvloed. Die teendeel is ook waar! Iemand met ‘n positiewe ingesteldheid kan geskiedenis verander!

Kyk na die rots waaruit jy gekap is:

Dis waarom Paulus die broeders vermaan: “Want let op julle roeping, broeders” (1 Cor 1:26) Hulle moes onthou hoe God hulle geroep het. Hulle was nie vername mense nie. Aanskou die rots waaruit julle gekap is en die holte van die put waaruit julle gegrawe is. Isa 51:1 Jou redding en die manier hoe God jou red, kan betekenisvol wees om jour roeping te verstaan. Die man wat die bekende EE3 Evangelisasie tegniek en kursus ontwikkel het, het juis deur die 2 diagnostiese vrae tot bekering gekom. Die dinge waarvan die Here jou verlos het, en hoe hy jou verlos het kan ook nou vir ander van hulp wees. Hy, al was Hy die Seun, het gehoorsaamheid geleer uit wat Hy gely het; 9 en nadat Hy volmaak is, het Hy vir almal wat Hom gehoorsaam is, ’n bewerker van ewige saligheid geword (Heb 5:8)  Selfs Jesus het ‘n liggaam nodig gehad wat hom voorberei is deur generasies heen. (Heb 10:5) Selfs jou ouerhuis en omstandighede waarin jy gebore is, is belangrik. Moet nie dit as ‘n vloek sien nie.

Vind jouself in die Woord:

Johannes die doper moes homself in die Woord sien, om sy roeping te verstaan. (Mal 3:1 vergelyk Mar 1:2) Paulus het geglo dat hy deur spesiale roeping lewendig gemaak is (Gal 1:1 Sien hoe Paulus sy roeping sien en verstaan: Maar toe dit God behaag het, wat my afgesonder het van die skoot van my moeder af en deur sy genade geroep het, 16 om sy Seun in my te openbaar, sodat ek Hom onder die heidene sou verkondig (Gal 1:15)

Profetiese Woord en Openbaring:

Die woord van die Here het dan tot my gekom en gesê: Voordat Ek jou in die moederskoot gevorm het, het Ek jou geken; en voordat jy uit die liggaam voortgekom het, het Ek jou geheilig; Ek het jou tot ’n profeet vir die nasies gemaak. (Jer 1:5) So het die Here vir Abraham, Moses, Samuel en nog baie ander geroep om vir Hom te werk.  Wanneer ons God ontmoet, kry ons ons identiteit.  Ons is juis identiteitloos omdat ons Hom nie ken nie.  Adam en Eva het in ongehoorsaamheid die verhouding wat hulle met God gehad het verbreek en weggestap en sodoende hulle identiteit verloor.  So het Esau dan sy eersgeboortereg verag. Gen 25:34 Ons eie drange en vleeslike begeertes mislei ons. Ons dink ons is die somtotaal van ons drange en begeertes. God het ‘n hoër doel met ons as mens, daarom het Hy ons geskape met goddelike vermoëns.  Paulus was eers op ‘n verkeerde pad, omdat hy in die tradisies van sy voorvaders geloop het en nie geweet het wat hy doen nie. (Acts 9:3-6) Hy het ook deur profetiese woord van Ananias sy roeping ontvang. (Acts 9:15-16)

“Maar deur die genade van God is ek wat ek is”

Paulus maak hierdie kragtige stelling in (1 Cor 15:10). Hierdie is ‘n diep geestelike paradoks: Om self te verloën (Mat 16:24; Rom 2:20) en uiteindelik net jouself te wees.  Madame Guyon het dit verduidelik dat God soos met ‘n slang die gif uit ons ‘self’ wil haal om ons uiteindelik onsself gesond terug te gee. Die selfsug, ambisie, selfregverdiging, passiwiteit, trots, van die eie-ek verwoes ons lewe. As ons egter sterf tot hierdie self, gee Hy ons ‘self’ terug om in nederigheid, ootmoed, gehoorsaam aan Hom te lewe. Daar is ‘n unieke deel van die beeld van Christus in ons elkeen opgesluit. by the acknowledgment of every good thing which is in 2you in Christ Jesus (Philemon 6)

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What to do when God feels distant

We all regularly experience moments where God feels distant. There is a difference between sin and sins. Ultimately sin is our arrogance to break relationship and union with God, thinking we can live without Him. Sins are the things we do as a result of a broken relationship. But we have made peace with God through Christ Jesus. Rom 5:1

David knew about this feeling Psalm 27:8-9

IT IS ONLY A FEELING GOD IS OMNIPRESENT
the Bible instructs us when God feels absent, remember it is a feeling because God is omnipresent. omnipresent (i.e., God is everywhere present): 1 Ki 8:27; Job 26:5–6; Ps 139:7–12; Pr 15:3; Je 23:23–24; Ac 17:27 (cf. Ge 28:16; De 4:36; Isa 57:15; Jon 1:3–4; Mt 28:20; Ac 2:25; 17:24, 27–28; Eph 1:23; Heb 13:5; Jam 4:8

He is always with us. will never leave or forsake us. Jos 1:5; 1 Chron 28:20; Heb 13:5
So we are talking about His manifest presence: God making Himself visible to our senses.

THE BIBLE INSTRUCTS US TO WAIT ON GOD
general references: Ge 49:18; Job 35:14; Ps 25:5; 62:5; 119:74; 130:5; Isa 8:17; 25:9; Mk 15:43
♦ exhortation concerning: Job 35:14; Ps 27:14; 37:7; Hos 12:6; Zep 3:8
♦ results of: Ps 25:3; 37:9; 40:1; 147:11; Pr 20:22; Isa 40:31; 49:23; 64:4; La 3:25–26; Mi 7:7; Heb 6:15 (cf. Je 8:15) ♦ lack of: Ps 106:13

WHAT DOES BIBLICAL WAITING LOOKS LIKE?
Waiting is not passive, but an active waiting with earnest expectation. It is more clearly seen in setting up an ambush for the one who promised, “I will be found by you” (Jer. 29:14). Like fishing, i am actively waiting with expectation.

REST H1826. דָּמַם dāmam: A verb meaning to be silent, to be still; to stand still. It depicts the state of being motionless (1 Sam. 14:9; Jer. 47:6). It can be used to command something to be motionless, to stand still (Josh. 10:12, 13), such as the sun. It means to refrain from speech (Lev. 10:3) at an appropriate time (Amos 5:13). It refers to persons being traumatized, rigid, or frozen from fear and fright (Ex. 15:16) like a stone or the silencing of persons through war or other means (Jer. 8:14; 48:2; 49:26; 50:30). It indicates, on the other hand, the absence of emotional distress and churning and the ability to be quiet and relax (Job 30:27; Ps. 4:4; 30:12; 131:2), which Job could not accomplish.

WAITING PATIENTLY H2342. חוּל ḥûl, חִיל ḥiyl: A verb meaning to whirl, to shake, to fear, to dance, to writhe, to grieve. This word has many different meanings, most of which derive from two basic ideas: to whirl in motion and to writhe in pain. The first of these ideas may be seen in the shaking of the earth (Ps. 29:8); the stirring of the waters (Ps. 77:16[17]); or the trembling of the mountains (Hab. 3:10). At times, this word is used in a context of shaking with fear (Deut. 2:25; Jer. 5:22); worshiping in trembling awe (1 Chr. 16:30; Ps. 96:9); or anxiously waiting (Gen. 8:10; Ps. 37:7). It is also used to describe dancing women (Judg. 21:21, 23). The second idea of writhing in pain can be either physical, as when Saul was wounded in battle (1 Sam. 31:3), or emotional, as when Jeremiah grieved in anguish over Jerusalem’s refusal to grieve (Jer. 4:19). This word is often used to describe the labor pains of giving birth (Ps. 29:9; Isa. 26:17, 18; 51:2) but can also imply God’s creating work (Deut. 32:18; Job 15:7; Ps. 90:2; Prov. 8:24, 25).

OUR ACCESS TO GOD HAS BEEN OPENED
Through a new and living way: Heb 10:19
We have access through his righteousness Mat 6:33
Permanent Glory 2 Cor 3:9-18 His Glory is no longer periodic, we are the habitation of His presence. 1 Cor 3:16; 6:19

ABSOLUTE FOCUS:
I was once driving from Northern California to Southern California on Interstate 5. South of Bakersfield I found myself in a dust storm that almost completely blinded me. It covered the entire freeway. There were cars immediately behind me, so I knew stopping could be disastrous. As I got into this cloud of dust I could faintly see cars and trucks scattered all over both sides of the freeway with people waving frantically. Talking with friends, listening to music, and the like are acceptable activities while driving, but they could have been deadly in this moment. Absolute silence filled the car as I worked to maintain my speed and focus on the lane ahead of me. After a minute or two, we made it through that terrifying cloud of death by God’s grace alone. Intense focus restricts what you are willing and able to see. And while this approach will keep you from seeing many things, it will also open your eyes to see more of what you hunger for. Self-control is not the ability to say no to a thousand other voices. It’s the ability to say yes to the one thing so completely that there’s nothing left to give to the other options. Bill Johnson Hosting His presence Unveiling Heaven’s agenda

The major way to express God’s compassion in the Old Testament was to use the Hebrew word raham, “womb.”¹ Why in the world did the Hebrews pick the word “womb” to express God’s compas-sion? Most likely it came from a Hebrew husband’s observing the intense feelings his pregnant wife had for the unborn in-fant inside her womb. He knew she had feelings and a love for that child that he cculd not yet experience. Excerpt From: “Surprised by the Power of the Spirit: Discovering How God Speaks and Heals Today” by Jack S. Deere.

In die onlangse fliek ͞The Avengers͟ word dit uitgebeeld hoe een van die Agente Phil Coulson besig is om te sterf: In sy sterwens oomblik sê hy: Agent Phil Coulson: You’re gonna lose. Loki: Am I? Agent Phil Coulson: It’s in your nature. Loki: Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky… where is my disadvantage? Agent Phil Coulson: You lack conviction. Loki: I don’t think I.. Coulson shoots Loki with his BFG, causing Loki to be blown through the wall behind him.

Heb 11:1 NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. For by [faith—trust and holy fervor born of faith] the men of old had divine testimony borne to them and obtained a good report. By faith we understand that the worlds [during the successive ages] were framed (fashioned, put in order, and equipped for their intended purpose) by the word of God, so that what we see was not made out of things which are visible.

Heb 10:22 Let us all come forward and draw near with true (honest and sincere) hearts in unqualified assurance and absolute conviction engendered by faith (by that leaning of the entire human personality on God in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness),

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What to do when God feels distant

WHAT TO DO WHEN GOD FEELS DISTANT
We all regularly experience moments where God feels distant. There is a difference between sin and sins. Ultimately sin is our arrogance to break relationship and union with God, thinking we can live without Him. Sins are the things we do as a result of a broken relationship. But we have made peace with God through Christ Jesus. Rom 5:1
David knew about this feeling Psalm 27:8-9
IT IS ONLY A FEELING GOD IS OMNIPRESENT
the Bible instructs us when God feels absent, remember it is a feeling because God is omnipresent. omnipresent (i.e., God is everywhere present): 1 Ki 8:27; Job 26:5–6; Ps 139:7–12; Pr 15:3; Je 23:23–24; Ac 17:27 (cf. Ge 28:16; De 4:36; Is 57:15; Jon 1:3–4; Mt 28:20; Ac 2:25; 17:24, 27–28; Eph 1:23; Heb 13:5; Jam 4:8 He is always with us. will never leave or forsake us. Jos 1:5; 1 Chron 28:20; Heb 13:5
So we are talking about His manifest presence: God making Himself visible to our senses.
WAITING FOR THE LORD
♦ general references: Ge 49:18; Job 35:14; Ps 25:5; 62:5; 119:74; 130:5; Is 8:17; 25:9; Mk 15:43 ♦ exhortation concerning: Job 35:14; Ps 27:14; 37:7; Hos 12:6; Zep 3:8 ♦ results of: Ps 25:3; 37:9; 40:1; 147:11; Pr 20:22; Is 40:31; 49:23; 64:4; La 3:25–26; Mi 7:7; Heb 6:15 (cf. Je 8:15) ♦ lack of: Ps 106:13
WHAT DOES BIBLICAL WAITING LOOKS LIKE?
It is more clearly seen in setting up an ambush for the one who promised, “I will be found by you” (Jer. 29:14). Like fishing, i am actively waiting with expectation.
REST H1826. דָּמַם dāmam: A verb meaning to be silent, to be still; to stand still. It depicts the state of being motionless (1 Sam. 14:9; Jer. 47:6). It can be used to command something to be motionless, to stand still (Josh. 10:12, 13), such as the sun. It means to refrain from speech (Lev. 10:3) at an appropriate time (Amos 5:13). It refers to persons being traumatized, rigid, or frozen from fear and fright (Ex. 15:16) like a stone or the silencing of persons through war or other means (Jer. 8:14; 48:2; 49:26; 50:30). It indicates, on the other hand, the absence of emotional distress and churning and the ability to be quiet and relax (Job 30:27; Ps. 4:4[5]; 30:12[13]; 131:2), which Job could not accomplish.
WAITING PATIENTLY H2342. חוּל ḥûl, חִיל ḥiyl: A verb meaning to whirl, to shake, to fear, to dance, to writhe, to grieve. This word has many different meanings, most of which derive from two basic ideas: to whirl in motion and to writhe in pain. The first of these ideas may be seen in the shaking of the earth (Ps. 29:8); the stirring of the waters (Ps. 77:16[17]); or the trembling of the mountains (Hab. 3:10). At times, this word is used in a context of shaking with fear (Deut. 2:25; Jer. 5:22); worshiping in trembling awe (1 Chr. 16:30; Ps. 96:9); or anxiously waiting (Gen. 8:10; Ps. 37:7). It is also used to describe dancing women (Judg. 21:21, 23). The second idea of writhing in pain can be either physical, as when Saul was wounded in battle (1 Sam. 31:3), or emotional, as when Jeremiah grieved in anguish over Jerusalem’s refusal to grieve (Jer. 4:19). This word is often used to describe the labor pains of giving birth (Ps. 29:9; Isa. 26:17, 18; 51:2) but can also imply God’s creating work (Deut. 32:18; Job 15:7; Ps. 90:2; Prov. 8:24, 25).
OUR ACCESS TO GOD HAS BEEN OPENED
Through a new and living way: Heb 10:19
We have access through his righteousness Mat 6:33
Permanent Glory 2 Cor 3:9-18
ABSOLUTE FOCUS:
I was once driving from Northern California to Southern California on Interstate 5. South of Bakersfield I found myself in a dust storm that almost completely blinded me. It covered the entire freeway. There were cars immediately behind me, so I knew stopping could be disastrous. As I got into this cloud of dust I could faintly see cars and trucks scattered all over both sides of the freeway with people waving frantically. Talking with friends, listening to music, and the like are acceptable activities while driving, but they could have been deadly in this moment. Absolute silence filled the car as I worked to maintain my speed and focus on the lane ahead of me. After a minute or two, we made it through that terrifying cloud of death by God’s grace alone. Intense focus restricts what you are willing and able to see. And while this approach will keep you from seeing many things, it will also open your eyes to see more of what you hunger for. Self-control is not the ability to say no to a thousand other voices. It’s the ability to say yes to the one thing so completely that there’s nothing left to give to the other options. Bill Johnson Hosting His presence Unveiling Heaven’s agenda
In die onlangse fliek ͞The Avengers͟ word dit uitgebeeld hoe een van die Agente Phil Coulson besig is om te sterf: In sy sterwens oomblik sê hy: Agent Phil Coulson: You’re gonna lose. Loki: Am I? Agent Phil Coulson: It’s in your nature. Loki: Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky… where is my disadvantage? Agent Phil Coulson: You lack conviction. Loki: I don’t think I… [Coulson shoots Loki with his BFG, causing Loki to be blown through the wall behind him]
Heb 11:1 NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. For by [faith—trust and holy fervor born of faith] the men of old had divine testimony borne to them and obtained a good report. By faith we understand that the worlds [during the successive ages] were framed (fashioned, put in order, and equipped for their intended purpose) by the word of God, so that what we see was not made out of things which are visible.
Heb 10:22 Let us all come forward and draw near with true (honest and sincere) hearts in unqualified assurance and absolute conviction engendered by faith (by that leaning of the entire human personality on God in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness),
 
 

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The lethal poison we drink when offended at someone

In the same way, an octopus hides (through clever camouflage) you will never know it is there, offense takes root in our heart, capturing us to do the will of satan. (2 Tim 2:26) When you try to remove an octopus, it defuses a dark cloud of ink, to even more obscure your view. It is not easy to see and recognize offense in one’s heart. Not even reading these notes will reveal it. The octopus is highly territorial and will defend its position. You need to ask the Holy Spirit to expose the root and stone of offense in your heart. You will also need to study the characteristics and symptoms to help you discover its position in your consciousness and attitude. But knowing it is there and seeing the signs still does not bring freedom, you uproot the source of offense. You have to act according to the way of Christ, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you out of the trap of satan.

Offended people produce satanic evil fruit, such as hurt, anger, outrage, jealousy, resentment, strife, bitterness, hatred, and envy. Some of the consequences of taking offense are insults, attacks, wounding, division, separation, broken relationships, betrayal, and backsliding.

Offense: “Skandalon” – laying a trap in someone’s way. The Greek word has the meaning of the little stick, used to catch birds. When people hurt us, it is a test, a potential trap. We should become wise and alert to see through the plans of the enemy, and not allow ourselves to be captured.

The ink/smoke screen the enemy uses to disguise is pride. Pride keeps us from dealing with the truth. It distorts our vision. We can never change when we think everything is fine. Pride hardens our hearts and dims the eyes of our understanding. It keeps us from the tranformation of heart—repentance—that will set us free.

No matter what the scenario is, we can divide all offended people into two major categories: (1) those who have been treated unjustly and (2) those who believe they have been treated unjustly.

Psalm 55:12–14 It’s the ones closest to us that hurt us the most. Sometimes it is family! Church family, natural family, and close friends are the ones that hurt us because our defenses are often down towards these insiders. We tend to pretend more towards those outside, but the ones closest to us they see the true-self, when we are tired, lazy, self-indulgent. Intimacy is to be totally transparent without fear of being judged. “naked and not ashamed”

We take offense when:

  1. We have false expectations – of someone, of God, ourselves. God always tells us straight what we are getting ourselves into, not to create a false expectation. (John 16:1) An expectation that does not come to fulfillment leads to disappointment. (Prov 13:12)
  2. Our inner picture clashes with the outward appearance. Friends and family/spouse do not see/understand us. We feel they should know our heart. Jesus spend 3 years with His disciples, and they did not get it, until after His resurrection. They slept, while He was in agony. They did not get the fact that He must suffer and die.
  3. We are opinionated – (Rom 12:16) High-minded, wise in your own opinion. Wisdom of the World (1 Cor 1 & 2). The things of the Kingdom, does not always make sense to the natural mind. (1 Cor 1:18-31) You need to know and study the Word of God, through the revelation of the Spirit, to get to know God, and understand His ways.
  4. We do not like or agree with the demands of the gospel, fear of suffering. (2 Tim 3:12) The word of God will be tested in your life. When you start doing right, believing and obeying the Word, there will be opposition. Expect it!
  5. We Reject Correction because of pride – Not legitimate sons – Hebrews 12. True sons receive and ask for correction. We love to please our father, and corrections bring change and growth.
  6. We listen to rumors based on lies, agreements. (Lev 19:16; 1 Tim 5:13; Prov 17:9; 18:8; 20;19)
  7. We trust our own feelings. (Prov 16:25)
  8. We do not love sincerely – love is not easily offended (1 Cor 13:5).
  9. We are not rooted and grounded in the Word of Truth – Eph 4:15. The more we know the Word, and discover the truth, the more we mature in God, to no longer be tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine. We look and judge, and proof our lives, and people through the Bible. The Word heals our perspective to look at people without filters of offence, human judgment, preconceived ideas, racism, exclusivity, and pride.
  10. We are too sensitive – have not died to the flesh (Pro 14:17) (Love is not touchy).
  11. We try to hide sin & disobedience. Sin is deception and will always try to self-justify, and be self-righteous, vindicating self.
  12. We have been exposed to false doctrine, false prophecy and false teaching. Many people became disillusioned because of false teachings. (2 Cor 11:13; Gal 2:4; Col 2:16 23; 2 Pet 2:1-18)

How do you deal with offenses:

Study (Luk 17:1-7) to see the steps, of how you should deal with offenses.

We cannot help, and prevent offenses to come: v1 “Temptations (snares, traps set to entice to sin) are sure to come” Scott Peck says in the first line of chapter one, (the road less traveled) “Life is an obstacle course” But surely when we fall from an obstacle, we do not remain on the ground crying and complaining. We do get up again, and we try again, until we succeed! Many people do never get over life’s hurts and offenses and remain in their own self-made prison of resentment, bitterness, and anger. They make vows in their heart, to be never be hurt again, ending up isolated and distant from the very sources of provision and personal growth.

Although God does not give offense, He uses offense to make as emotionally and spiritually mature. The enemy uses offense to stop us from growing and maturing. The obstacle course is not your enemy, it can became your friend and coach that make you stronger, if you learn to embrace the pain.

v3 “Take heed to yourselves” You must take responsibility of your won well-being. Yes your parents are supposed to look after you and help you, but if they for some reason cannot help and support, do not moan and groan. Get up and do something. Neither is your spouse responsible for your happiness. Yes a husband should take care, cherish and love you. But you yourself are responsible, to become complete in His love first. God is love, and it his Love that complete and fulfills us. (Ephesians 3:16-20)

v3b If your brother sins against you, REBUKE HIM; and if he repents, forgive him. The emphasis in this portion of scripture is to correct wrong behavior. Because of our hurt, we focus so much on our own pain, that we do not in the end are able to help the offender to change. RESTORATIVE JUSTICE is an approach to justice that aims to involve the parties to a dispute and others affected by the harm (victims, offenders, families concerned and community members) in collectively identifying harms, needs and obligations through accepting responsibilities, making restitution, and taking measures to prevent a recurrence of the incident and promoting reconciliation. – See more

This is I believe God’s primary reason, why we need to overcome offense, so that we can help the offender on a path of healing. This is how we break the cycle of retaliation, where people continue to hurt another because we ourselves have been hurt.

This is the gift of repentance that Paul speaks about to the Corinthian church. “You have been made sorry” (2 Cor 7:9) “For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation” (v10) “you sorrowed in a godly manner:

– What diligence it produced in you, (speúdō – Careful, Diligence, earnest effort)

– what clearing of yourselves, (apología; to give an answer or speech in defense of oneself)

– what indignation, (aganáktēsis – under a great burden which results in indignation what fear, reverance)

– what vehement desire, (epipothéō – to desire earnestly. Earnest desire, strong affection)

– what zeal, (zḗlou – to be hot, fervent. Zeal, used in a good sense

– what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter (v11) (hagnós – Freedom from defilements or impurities)

The healing and complete restoration of the offender is the redemptive purpose of God. Repentance is a gift from God but Esau could not find it. “he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears” (Heb 12:17) When God works repentance, it brings lasting change. When studying the abovementioned list, it names all the ingredients necessary for the sinner to come free. Oh how wonderful to witness the greatest miracle – salvation! A Life changed and transformed! (2 Cor 5:17) The Holy Spirit convicts us of sin, righteousness and judgment. (Joh 16:8) He works this change in us. Not just bringing conviction of sin, but also convincing us of our right standing before God, having no fear of judgment.

I believe when we arrive at this place regarding sin, we will be willing to: a) humble ourselves b) be 100% truthful and honest c) obey and follow instructions. He works it in us.

5 Steps of true Repentance.

1) UNDERSTANDING – true repentance occurred when the offender deeply understand and see the damage and pain that was caused to the victim. Forgiveness is easy to give, when one recognize that the offender has understanding of the “why” and “cause” of the error and sin. David prayed the following phrase in his repentance of adultery: “Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom” (Ps 51:6)

2) REMORSE – Tears of change and enlightenment, not of regret. Some people cry not because they are really sorry about their sin, they only regret being caught. The tears of regret is an awful deception, because the desire of self/sin/death has not yet fully conceive, and we still want to sin. (James 1:14-15)

3) RESTITUTION – Physically repair and fix what has been broken. Do what is necessary for the offended victim to be healed. What do the victim need to be done.

4) TURN – 180 degree turn and walk away. Abandon the sin. You are more than a sinner. It is not who you are. “yet not I, but sin…” (Rom 8:20) You continue to walk away from sin, and transgressing against people by grace through faith.

5) CONFESSION – You cannot demand forgiveness, you have no rights or privileges. Your have to earn trust and respect. Say: “Would you please forgive me?” The victim has the right to initially refuse, and when ready give forgiveness. You cannot ask forgiveness and use the word “but”. This is not forgiveness. Except full responsibility for your actions. You partner cannot be blamed if you disobey God, you chose to disobey. Adam blamed God: “It is the wife you gave me” Eve blamed the snake. (Gen 3:12-13)

There is no reconciliation between God and man without blood. Through the blood of Christ we have been atoned, reconciled. Rom. 5:10-11, the word ‘reconcile’ used in this passage means to change a person for the purpose of being able to have fellowship together. The verb katallássō is found only in Rom. 5:10; 1 Cor. 7:11; 2 Cor. 5:18- 20, and the subst. katallagḗ (G2643) is found in Rom. 5:11; 11:15; 2 Cor. 5:18, 19. The word implies two people who are at variance with each other and who are brought together because of a change that occurs. When the words are used in reference to the variance that exists between God and man, the change never occurs in God, but always in man who is the sinner. This is the meaning of the verb in Rom. 5:10, “We were reconciled to God by the death of his Son; much more, being reconciled we shall be saved by his life.” Such reconciliation to God necessitates His changing us, through the new birth (John 1:12; 3:3). It is also the meaning of the subst. in Rom. 5:11, “And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement [katallagḗ, reconciliation.

1) The Blood – There can thus be no reconciliation unless there is blood. Blood represent repentance and forgiveness. You cannot leave errors and sin without speaking up, and repent. You need to humble yourself! You need to go low! This is the only way to deal with offense! Only blood can remove the stone of offense. In order for you to forgive completely, and actually forget the hurt, you need to repent. Repent of the offense taken: bitterness, hardness, unforgiveness, criticism, alienation, resentment, fear of man, ungodly vows, pride. These negative emotions and actions is the fuel that keeps the memory-fire of the offense going. Once the fire gets no more new fuel/logs to burn, it dies out naturally. The oxygen that feeds the fire of offense burning in our hearts, are these specific sins, and un-Christlike actions and feelings.

2) Confront and verify the truth – Keep on engaging and maintain contact. Most of the time when we offended, we either attack or we flee. Both these attempts have disastrous results. People, who are in covenant relationship with each other, do not have the privilege to disengage! In the covenant ritual, an animal is killed. This is to symbolize that in the same way that after our death we cannot change our will and testament, in the same way we CANNOT break this covenant. We are instructed to break relationship with believers who have sinned (1 Timothy 6:3-5; 1 Corinthians 5:11-13; Romans 16:17 But the intention is to bring the brother or sister to repentance. (2 Cor 2:5-8) These disciplinary actions are temporary of nature, seeking repentance and change. God’s Judgment is eternal.

3) Do not symphonize (agree) with a person who is offended. Do not listen nor agree with their accusations. The person discussed is not physically present to explain their side of the story, or able to defend. Beware that a secondary offense is much more vehement than the original. Have compassion! Compassion and love moves you to do something about the problem. Bring the parties together, and be the facilitator, peacemaker that reconcile. (Mat 5:8) Blessed are the peace makers.

4) Take back your boldness, entrance towards God – (Eph 2:11-14) The Enemy wants to rob us of our right standing, so that through shame, guilt we loose our confidence and faith in God. Offense is satanic! It is void of God’s nature and the fruit of the Spirit. It separates! God gave His Son to reconcile us with Himself, He is the way, not your holiness and works. You originally came and made contact not because you were holy, but because He sanctified you and called you close. Reclaim your access to God, the door is still wide open. He has not moved. (Heb 10:19)

5) Know you own boundaries – know yourself. Remain in grace. Often when we stretch our own boundaries of obedience, we enter into a dangerous zone, where the enemy can easily reach us, and trip us. For example, If you are an emotional person, beware of the people you allow into your life. You do not have to be friends with everyone. Do not go unless you are send, and do not help unless you are asked.

6) We can only be offended to the measure that you are insecure. Seek to discover and find the reason for offense in yourself, not the offender. Ask the question. “Why does this offends me so much?” If someone else told me this, it would have meant nothing, but when my husband said it, I was furious! Why is this? What is the root of the insecurity. We deal with insecurities by facing them, stop self-pity and wallowing, get going and do something about it. Improve what you are doing! Learn to get your identity and approval from God. Your life is hidden in Christ. (Col 3:2) Insecurities are areas in our lives where we are not yet mature in Christ. Discover Christ in your insecurities and let Him validate and vindicate you.

7) Keep yourself in the love of God, restore the joy of my salvation. We live by faith. The fruit of faith is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Once we have lost our joy, peace, we will loose our righteousness, and in the end that will lead to doubting God’s Love.

We justify the transgressional sin in our lives. We feel entitled to the anger, because of the wrong. It is in trails of our faith that these impurities of the flesh are revealed. God refines us as Gold through afflictions, trials, and tribulations, the heat of which separates impurities such as unforgiving, strife, bitterness, anger, envy, and so forth from the character of God in our lives. Isa 48:10 and 1 Pet 1:6-7

Characteristics of an offended person

– HARDNESS (Pro 18:19) It is rather hard to win and soften an offended person. When we retain an offense in our hearts, we filter everything through it.

– Love does not seek its own, but hurt people become more and more self-seeking and self-contained. Pr 18:1 ISOLATE THEMSELVES

– So an offended Christian is one who takes in life but, because of FEAR, cannot release life. 1 Joh 4:18 Fear is most of the time the root, fear of man, fear of suffering, fear of being hurt and rejected, fear of commitment and failure, fear of loss, fear of death. This fear blinds you, and filters out the entire positive perspective, and thus causes such a person to not being able to reason logically. The emotion hinders godly perspective, only looking at the rock of offense.

– STONE/Rock of offense. The wrong deed becomes the focus, we cannot see beyond it. When offended with someone, you feel you see a secret truth about that person (usually one aspect), and that everyone else is blinded. (Who sees the whole person, even with their mistakes, but also with their goodness) Offense DEMONIZE an aspect of a person’s life, to justify the total rejection of that person.

– ALIENATION OF THE MIND Col 1:21 (imaginary rejection)

– Their moral understanding is darkened and their reasoning is BECLOUDED.

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– TRIALS AND TESTS locate a person. In other words, they determine where you are spiritually. They reveal the true condition of your heart. How you react under pressure is how the real you reacts. It is in trails of our faith that these impurities of the flesh are revealed. God refines us as Gold through afflictions, trials, and tribulations, the heat of which separates impurities such as unforgiveness, strife, bitterness, anger, envy, and so forth from the character of God in our lives. Isa 48:10 and 1 Pet 1:6-7

Being offended at God

 

There is no legitimate reason for us to take offense. These following examples of people had a valid reason to be offended, but they did not. Mat 5:39-45 These are the true sons of God. We find TEKNON used in Romans 8:15–16. It says that because we have received the spirit of adoption, “the Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children [teknon] of God.” When a person receives Jesus Christ as Lord, he is a child of God by fact of the new birth experience. (See John 1:12.) The other Greek word translated sons in the New Testament is HUIOS. Many times it is used in the New Testament to describe “one who can be identified as a son because he displays the character or characteristics of his parents.”

God told Chantál: “Are you angry at Me?” No answer… “If you are angry at me, then you expect Me to apologize?” Oh Lord, what arrogance and blindness we have! God is never wrong! He does not need to explain Himself. (His thought is not our thoughts Isa 55:8-9) Many people say, where is God, where was He when that happened? God is always there, and He didn’t move. But we moved away. We took our eyes of Him, and started looking at the storm.

Biblical accounts of offense: Some of these characters had reason to take offense against God, but they did not, and their faith was counted to them for salvation. God is a good God, and wants our ultimate good, bringing us into rich fulfillment. (Ps 66:12) Yet what He does, doesn’t always make sense at the time, it is only later that we see His hand and protection.

  1. God asks Adam why he disobeyed. Adam blames God for “That woman you gave me,” causing him to sin (Gen. 3).
  2. God doesn’t accept or receive Cain’s sacrifice. Cain is angry with God for not taking his sacrifice. He kills Abel.
  3. Noah is ridiculed for many years after God tells him to build a gigantic boat on dry land. His obedience led to ridicule and slander.
  4. God tells Abraham that he will be the father of nations (That is also what his name means). He must wait until he is 100 and his wife is 90 for the son that he was promised.
  5. Joseph had reason his brothers deliberately wanted to kill him. (Gen 37:20-21) Joseph refuses to sleep with the wife of his boss. Jilted and angry, Potiphar’s wife accuses him of attempted rape and Joseph is sent to prison for years. Joseph was innocent in being put in chains in prison (Ps 105:18)
  6. Moses reluctantly agrees to go back to Egypt and speak to Pharaoh. Pharaoh increases the work on the Israelite slaves so that they are beaten. Their lives now more difficult than before, his own people curse Moses for doing what God told him (Exodus 5).
  7. Job suffers, unknowingly participating in God’s bet with Satan that Job will not curse God if his blessings are removed.
  8. Daniel thrown in lion’s den while in his 80’s.
  9. David anointed to be King, runs from Saul for 10+ years. Rejected, betrayed, sleeps in caves (1 Sam. 19-30). Saul sought to kill David, David looked to Saul as a spiritual father from greatly loving David (1 Sam 16:21) to wanting to kill him, “and Saul ‘eyed’ David from that day forward (1 Sam 18:8-9) Yet David’s heart did not turn into offense (1 Sam 24:11-13) who can stretch out his hand against God’s anointed (1 Sam 26:11)
  10. The angel Gabriel said to Mary, “Greetings favored one!” Joseph wants out of the relationship. They both must receive the stares and shaming from family, friends and relatives.
  11. John the Baptist, Jesus cousin, dies an ignoble death in prison. (Matt. 11:4-6). John was in prison because he spoke out against Herod’s illicit relationship with his brother’s wife. He was not given a Godly command to do this, else he would not have been offended in prison. When God gives you a command, and you suffer as a result there is grace to endure. Like Paul being send to Rome. He knew the danger, but was fearless. In the end Herodias ensure John’s death, because of her own offense being corrected publicly.
  12. Jesus’ states his mission is to “proclaim liberty to captives,” (Luke 4:18). But he leaves this sentence out when answering John (Matt 11:4-6)
  13. Jesus tells us to visit prisoners but we have no record of him visiting John (Matt. 25:39-40).
  14. Knowing our tendency to get offended, he says, “Blessed is he who is not offended by me.” (Matt. 11:6)
  15. Jesus heals on the Sabbath knowing it will offend the religious leaders (Mark 3:1-6).
  16. Jesus calls a foreign woman a dog. She overcomes the offense, comes after him and receives a miracle (Mark. 7:24-30).
  17. Jesus ruins the economics of an area when 2,000 pigs are drowned (Mark 5:1-20). He is asked to leave.
  18. Jesus is often frustrated with people and tells them, i.e. “O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me” (Mark 9:19).
  19. Jesus curses fig tree when it was not the season for figs (Mark 11:12-14).
  20. Jesus tells observant Jews they must eat his flesh and drink his blood. “This is a hard saying, who can listen to it?” “Do you take offense at this? Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before?” (John 6:52-66). The truth offends, some departed, but the disciples remained “you have the Words of eternal life” (Joh 6:60, 61, 66)
  21. Because of his trust in His Father, Jesus allowed himself to be offended, betrayed, rejected, humiliated and tortured to death. “Father forgive them for the know not what they do” (Luk 23:34)
  22. Jesus expects that he will make us stumble and be broken. “But he looked directly at them and said, ‘What then is this that is written: The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone’? Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, and when it falls on anyone, it will crush him’” (Luke 20:17-18).

These Biblical accounts show that much can be learned as they and we walk through the struggles of offense. In the midst of offense, we can wallow in self-pity or trust in our Lord God to make it right in His time, however long it takes. Remember, we are not looking for God to prove His love through our circumstances, the Cross of Christ proved God’s love. It may not seem fair, but there is purpose, His purpose in allowing offense. We’ve died to ourselves, our life is now lived with and for God. (Galatians 2:20) We may grieve our loss, but we don’t cry for ourselves, but for those who hurt us who don’t know how to love.

Nothing demonstrates that we’re not dead to ourselves like offenses. Wrestle with offense, placing it at the feet of God. Ask Him for wisdom. He may require you to wait. In the meantime, practice praising and thanking God for what you do have and not focusing on the loss. But let Him vindicate you, waiting for His miracle, His work as you press forward in faith, trusting. For God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)

The way of the Kingdom is our escape Button

Love is never selfish, never quick to take offense. 1 Cor 13:5

Proverbs 19:11 “A man`s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

When Jesus dies on the cross he exclaimed: “Father forgive them for they do not know what they do” (Luk 23:34) Why did he not say: “I forgive you” He made intersession for the people, asking God to not hold His death against them. Jesus is love! Jesus is forgiveness. This is the essense of the life He taught: Love your enemies, Pray for those who spitefully use you, Bless those who curse you! (Mat 5:43-44)

When we intercede for someone in prayer, God restores His love in our hearts. This is how He heals us from taking offense. He gives us compassion for the offender. We do not live anymore; we have been crucified with Christ. (Gal 2:20) We do not accuse someone before God. When intercede, we put our self in their shoes. This is when we will begin to see what God sees, a broken heart, and a heart needing a Savior!

Offense in essense is a lack of love our hearts have turned. But by praying and interceding we gain God’s heart, we see as He sees.

When His love floods our heart, we forgive and surrender everything to God. Faith is restored in Love. (Rom 5:4)