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Inside the mind of a procrastinator

‘Procrastination is the assassination of motivation.’
‘Procrastination is the thief of time.’
4782 Epigram On Procrastination
• Saying “It is too early,” makes it too late —Japanese Proverb
• Alexander the Great, being asked how he had conquered the world, replied, “By not delaying.”—Foster
• We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.
• The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
• Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it—Everywoman’s Family Circle
• Every time a man puts a new idea across, he finds ten men who thought of it before he did—but they only thought of it—Advertiser’s Digest
 
ge·sloer delay, dawdling, procrastination, uit·stel n. 1 delay, postponement, deferment; 2 procrastination; 3 stay, respite, extension of time; van uitstel kom afstel a (there is) no time like the present. [Pharos English-Afrikaans Dictionary]
 
Some general scriptures:
We must not procrastinate in choosing to serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15)
God does not procrastinate (Habakkuk 2:3)
Those who procrastinate lose out (Luke 14:16–21)
Today is the day to be saved (2 Corinthians 6:2)
No hurry to obey, 2 Chronicles 24:5 (cev).
Attempting to delay God’s call, Matthew 8:21–22; Luke 9:59–62.
Five procrastinating virgins, Matthew 25:2–13.
Making excuses, Luke 14:16–21.
 
Anyone who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins. James 4:17 (NIV)
“What have you been postponing?
 
1.  Indecision. “A double minded man is unstable in all he does.”  (James 1:8 LB)  Have you ever sent a waiter away at a restaurant because you couldn’t make up your mind?  Indecision causes you to postpone buying a car, choosing a college, getting married, buying new clothes, changing a job.
 
2.  Perfectionism. “If you wait for perfect conditions, you’ll never get anything done!” (Ecclesiastes 11:4 LB) If you wait for things to be perfect, you’re going to wait a long time. You don’t have the time or the money for things to be perfect.
 
3.  Fear. “The fear of man is a trap.”  (Proverbs 29:25 LB) Have you been postponing going to the dentist?  Or having that needed surgery?  Or getting into marriage counseling?  Sharing your faith at work?  Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?”
 
4.  Anger. “A lazy person is as bad as someone who is destructive.” (Proverbs 18:9 GNT) Procrastination is a way to get back at people we don’t like.  We delay.  Kids are great at procrastination.  You ask them to clean up their room.  They do it but they take so long doing it. One of the reasons may be that they’re resisting your control. Procrastination is passive resistance.  I don’t want to do it because I don’t like you telling me to do what I have to do.  Anger causes us to put things off.
 
5. Laziness. “Lazy people want much but get little, while the diligent are prospering.” (Proverbs 13:4 LB) One of the most popular words in America is “easy.” If it’s easy, we like it.  If it’s hard, we don’t like it.   Can you imagine a best seller titled, “Ten Difficult Steps to Change Your Life” or “Fifteen Difficult Ways to Get in Shape”?  If it’s easy, we like it.  If it’s hard, we don’t like it. Enjoys comfort. Passivity.
 
6. Lack understanding. Prov 24:3 Understanding establishes you. You will only do that what you understand.  Sometimes we simply do not know how to do it.  It takes 20 hours to acquire a new skill.  Break it down and make it simple, get the basic steps, practice these steps diligently.
 
7. Wait till it feels right. Being led by the Spirit is not a feeling. You will never feel like forgiving someone. Feel like giving something away. We are led by faith. Faith comes. Lack of faith is lack of spending time in the Word. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.  Rom 10:17. When you hear, do it immediately while there is faith. It gets more difficult to do it, the longer you procrastinate.  God enables you to obey.
 
8. Shifting the blame, responsibility It is in human nature to wait for someone else.  Bystander effect.  The bystander effect, or bystander apathy, is a social psychological phenomenon that refers to cases in which individuals do not offer any means of help to a victim when other people are present. The probability of help is inversely related to the number of bystanders. In other words, the greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is that any one of them will help. Catherine Susan “Kitty” Genovese (July 7, 1935[1] – March 13, 1964) was a New York City woman who was stabbed to death outside her apartment building in Kew Gardens, a neighborhood in the borough of Queens in New York City, on March 13, 1964.  37 or 38 witnesses saw or heard the attack and did not call the police. The incident prompted inquiries into what became known as the bystander effect or “Genovese syndrome”.
 
9. Disillusionment. We have tried and failed. We loose motion.    4770 Starting From Dead Stop – It requires six times as much power to start a flywheel from a dead stop, as it does to keep it going once it is in motion.  A locomotive must exert a pull of as much as thirty pounds for every ton of weight in a railroad car to start it from a standstill, and even more in very cold weather. Once the car is in motion, only about three pounds per ton may be needed to keep it moving on a straight and level track.  Disappointment can lead to passivity.  We simply do not want to be hurt again.
 
10. False spiritual expectation. 1983 God gave AJP a prophetic word. I specifically waited on God, that He would appear to me. he said: “If I appear to you this is what I will tell you. ‘Go and preach the gospel… Make disciples, teach them, and I will confirm my word. Etc” It is not the appearance that makes the difference. It is our obedience. Some wait till God would directly speak to them, and miss God speaking through their wives, children and family. Jesus spend 30 years obeying earthly parents and a small family and community of people in Nazareth.  God’s mission always remains the same: “go and tell”. There is no special message. It is His great commission to the church.

 
 

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Wat moet ek doen om gered te word?

Wat moet ek doen om gered te word?

Petrus se woorde het hulle diep geraak. Hulle het toe vir Petrus en die ander apostels gevra: “Broers, wat moet ons doen?” 38 Petrus antwoord hulle: “Kom tot inkeer en maak reg met God. Laat julle in die Naam van Jesus Christus doop sodat julle sondes vergewe kan word, en julle sal die Heilige Gees as geskenk ontvang. 39 Hierdie belofte is bedoel vir julle en julle kinders, en selfs vir die nie-Jode – almal wat die Here ons God sal naderroep.” 40 Petrus het nog lank aanhou preek en ’n ernstige beroep op sy hoorders gedoen: “Laat julle red uit hierdie afgedwaalde geslag!”(Acts 2:37-40)

1 Bekering:

Kom tot inkeer – Die bekende Griekse woord wat hier gebruik word is “μετανοέω” metanoéō. Dit beteken om jou posisie/uitkyk/denke te verander. ‘n Ander rigting inslaan. Soos die bekende CS Lewis eers ‘n befaamde ateïs was, het hy sy uitkyk en siening verander, en een van die mees gesogde Christen Apologete geword. Om tot inkeer te kom veronderstel ‘n omdraai en algehele omkeer. Om tot nuwe insig te kom. Jy sien ‘n nuwe realiteit wat jou huidige sienswyse totaal verander. Hierdie tot inkeer kom is eenmalig in terme van kind van God word, maar dit is ook ‘n reis saam met Jesus, waar Hy ons weer en weer tot nuwe insigte bring soos wat ons saam met Hom die pad stap.

Maak reg met God – Sedert jou kinderdae beweeg die meeste mense weg van God af. Ons raak van Hom vervreemd. (Col1:12) Ons het geen vrymoedigheid om te bid, of tot God te nader nie. Soos met enige vervreemding in ‘n verhouding begin mens allerhande aannames maak, valse veronderstellings oor die ander persoon omdat ons nie die persoon werklik ken of kontak het nie. Later gaan sommige mense so ver, dat hulle God se vyand raak. Hulle leefstyl en dade druis lynreg teen Sy wil en plan vir hulle lewens in. Hierdie self-verwoestende lewenstyl en rigting van mens se lewe eindig uiteindelik op die plek van die dood, sonder God, sonder Vrede, sonder ware blywende innerlike geluk. Die lewe is vol lewensroetes: Sommige vertrou hulle intellek en rede, ander hulle geld en posisie, ander hulle fisiese krag en vermoeëns. Om met God reg te maak is, om soos die verlore seun terug te stap na die Vader se huis, en jou aan hom oor te gee. Die verlore seun het vir homself gesê: “17 Maar hy het tot homself gekom en gesê: Hoe baie huurlinge van my vader het oorvloed van brood, en ek vergaan van honger! 18 Ek sal opstaan en na my vader gaan, en ek sal vir hom sê: Vader, ek het gesondig teen die hemel en voor u, 19 en ek is nie meer werd om u seun genoem te word nie; maak my soos een van u huurlinge. Luk 15:17-19

Glo in Jesus – Die term dat iemand tot geloof kom word die meeste gebruik in die NT om te verduidelik hoe mense gered geword het. (Mark 16:16; Joh 2:23; 4:39, 41; 8:30; 11:45; 12:42; Acts 9:42; 11:21; 18:8) Hulle het eenvoudig begin glo toe hulle die prediking en getuienis van die Waarheid gehoor het. “Want as jy met jou mond bely dat Jesus die Here is en met jou hart glo dat God Hom uit die dood opgewek het, sal jy gered word. Want as ons glo met ons hart, word ons vrygespreek en as ons met ons mond bely, word ons gered. Soos die Skrif sê: “Wie in Hom glo, sal nie beskaamd staan nie.”” (Romans 10:9–11) “Hulle het toe vir Hom gesê: “Wat moet ons doen om God se wil uit te voer?”Jesus het hulle geantwoord: “Dít is God se opdrag aan julle: Glo in Hom wat die Vader gestuur het.”Hulle sê vir Hom: “Watter wonderteken doen u dan sodat ons kan sien en in u kan glo? Wat besonders doen u vir ons?” (John 6:28–30, Die Bybel, Nuwe Lewende Vertaling) ‘n Professor het my op ‘n tyd besoek. Hy was in sy middeljare en het volgens hom sy intellek totaal uitgeput, en kon steeds nie vrede vind nie. Ek vra hom toe: Glo jy dat Jesus ‘n werklikheid is? ‘n Eenvoudige ja of nee antwoord, nie ‘n diskussie van ‘hoekom’ en ‘maars’ nie. Hy’t my stip aangekyk, sy oë het tranerig geword en hy het afgemete geantwoord; “Ja ek glo Jesus is ‘n werklikheid” Op daardie oomblik het redding vir die man gekom. Later sou hy my vertel dit het op daardie oomblik rustig in hom geword het. Hy glo! “Hulle het toe vir Hom gesê: “Wat moet ons doen om God se wil uit te voer?”Jesus het hulle geantwoord: “Dít is God se opdrag aan julle: Glo in Hom wat die Vader gestuur het.”Hulle sê vir Hom: “Watter wonderteken doen u dan sodat ons kan sien en in u kan glo? Wat besonders doen u vir ons?” (John 6:28–30)

Die geloof moet egter later in werke oorgaan, wanneer ons doen wat Hy ons beveel. Die vrou wat sopas op heterdaad betrap was in die daad van owerspel. Sekerlik kan mens hulle dadelik veroordeel! Jesus skryf op die grond, dat die een wat sonder sonde is, die eerste klip gooi. Uiteindelik toe almal weg is, sê Hy vir die vrou: “Ek veroordeel jou ook nie, gaan heen en sondig nie meer nie!” Haar redding begin die oomblik as sy hierdie genade woord gehoorsaam en gaan uitvoer. (Joh 8:3-11)

Wedergeboorte – Wedergeboorte is ‘n teologiese verduidelik van die Redding wat God in ons werk. By bekering is die onus op ons om te reageer op die verkondiging van die Woord. Wedergeboorte is ‘n bonatuurlike werking wat God in ons werk, wanneer Hy ons Sy kinders maak. (Joh 3:5; 1 Pet 1:21; 2 Cor 5:17) Hy doen die werk, (Phil 1:12) en produseer die vrug van die Heilige Gees as ons nuwe karakter. (Gal 5:21-22) Hoe weet mens of jy wedergeboorte deelagtig geword het? Spurgeon verduidelik dit mooi aan die hand van ‘n vark en kat storie. Die vark kan nie ‘n kat wees nie. Dit is in sy natuur om vuil te wees. Die kat daarenteen hou nie van vuil word nie. Net God kan ons natuur verander. Een van die eerste tekens dat ek kind van God geword het, is dat ek nie meer wil vuil wees nie, en vuil dinge doen nie. My ingesteldheid oor kleredrag, taalgebruik, rassisme, en begeertes verander radikaal. Ek sien die Wêreld in ‘n heel ander lig. Sy liefde oorweldig my met ‘n nuwe vrymoedigheid, vrygewigheid, en omgee vir mense.

2 Doop

Petrus se 2de opdrag was dat die mense hulle sal laat doop. “Laat julle in die Naam van Jesus Christus doop sodat julle sondes vergewe kan word”. Hierdie was ‘n belangrike opdrag vir die vroeër kerk. Dit is tydens die doop dat publieke belydenis van geloof afgelê word. Toe Paulus dissipels in Efese kry, toe vra hy hulle: “Met watter doop is julle dan gedoop?” Hulle is toe weer gedoop, omdat hulle deur die doop van Johannes gedoop is. Soos met ‘n huwelikseremonie word die liefde tussen die verloofdes bevestig voor getuies. Die doop seremonie is ook ‘n pragtige uiterlike simboliese handeling van wat innerlik met mens gebeur het, naamlik begrafnis. (Rom 6:3-4) Om Jesus se volgeling te word impliseer dat mens jou eie-ek en self verloën, kruisig en aflê om nou presies te doen en te lewe in gehoorsaamheid aan Jesus. Dit is dan juis die ek-mens, wat weggestap het van God af. “Jesus het toe vir sy dissipels gesê: “As julle my volgelinge wil wees, moet julle julle eie, selfsugtige ambisie prysgee, julle kruis op julle skouers neem, en agter My aan kom. As julle probeer om julle lewe vir julleself te bewaar, sal julle dit verloor. Maar as julle julle lewe ter wille van My prysgee, sal julle ware lewe vind. Wat sal dit jou tog help as jy alles in die lewe bereik, maar jy ly skade aan jou diepste menswees? Jy sal met niks ter wêreld daarvoor kan vergoed nie. Ek, die Seun van die Mens, sal inderdaad kom, vergesel van God se engele. Ek sal met die heerlikheid van my Vader bekleë wees, en Ek sal almal oordeel volgens hulle dade.” (Matthew 16:24–27) Die self-sterf gedagte staan sentraal tot ons nuwe lewe in Christus. Dit is belangrik vir die nuwe gelowige om ‘n monument te hê, ‘n oomblik waarna mens kan terug verwys, om jou te herinner. Jy is dood, jy lewe nie meer nie. (Rom 2:20) Ons stryd teen sonde is verby want ons leef nie meer nie. (Gal 5:16, 24) Dis ons redelike godsdiens, ons is aan Hom geoffer as lewende heilige offers. (Rom 12:1; Rom 6:11)

3 Word gevul met die Heilige Gees

Toe Jesus die Samaritaanse vrou lei tot redding, wys Hy haar dat Hy die fontein van lewende water is, want as Sy van Hom drink, sal sy nooit weer dors kry nie. “Wie egter van die water drink wat Ek hom gee, sal nimmer as te nooit weer dors word. Die water wat Ek vir hom sal gee, sal ’n fontein in hom word waarvan die water vir altyd sal bly opborrel.”” (John 4:14) Dis presies wat gebeur as jy begin Glo in Jesus. Hy word ‘n fontein van wysheid, waarheid, rigting en nuwe waardes waarvolgens jy leef. (Jer 31:31-34) Die Woord van God word vir jou begrip oopgesluit en jy begin verstaan wat jy lees. Die Woord word lewendig en werk in jou om dit nie net te hoor nie, maar ook toe te pas in jou lewe. ‘n Paar hoofstukke verder in Johannes 7 maak Jesus die volgende aankondiging. “Die een wat in My glo – soos die Skrif sê: ‘Riviere lewende water sal uit sy binneste vloei.’”Dit het Jesus gesê oor die Gees wat die mense wat in Hom glo, sou ontvang.”” (John 7:38–40) By redding toe jy tot geloof gekom het ontsluit die Here in jou ‘n innerlike fontein, maar wanneer Hy jou vul met die Heilige Gees word die fontein strome van lewende water wat uit jou uitvloei na ander. Die vervulling met die Heilige Gees en die Gawes van die Heilige Gees wat daarmee gepaard gaan is ‘n goddelike bemagtiging om sy getuie te wees. (Acts 8:1) Al die gawes is gerig tot bediening, die opbou en stigting van God se mense. Soos Jesus word jy ‘n werktuig in God se hand om mense te oortuig van die waarheid. (Joh 18:37) Johannes die doper maak die volgende verklaring oor Jesus tydens sy bediening; “Ek het julle met water gedoop, maar Hy sal julle met die Heilige Gees doop.”” (Mat 3:11; Mark 1:8) Die term was nog nooit in die Bybel gebruik nie. Niemand sou verstaan wat hy hiermee bedoel nie. Jesus maak weer die opmerking by Sy hemelvaart: “Johannes het met water gedoop, maar júlle sal binne ’n paar dae met die Heilige Gees gedoop word.”” (Acts 1:5) Die volgende hoofstuk vertel in detail van die uitstorting van die Heilige Gees. “Almal is toe met die Heilige Gees vervul en soos die Gees vir hulle die vermoë gegee het, het hulle in ander tale begin praat.” (Acts 2:4) Dit was nie ‘n eenmalige uitstorting net vir die eerste gelowiges nie. Later is hulle weer op dieselfde wyse aangeraak. “Na hierdie gebed het die gebou waar hulle bymekaar was, geskud, en hulle is almal met die Heilige Gees vervul. En hulle het God se boodskap onverskrokke verkondig.” (Acts 4:31) Later sou Petrus deur ‘n visioen gelei word om ook die Heidene in te sluit in God se goeie nuus boodskap. “Terwyl Petrus nog hierdie dinge sê, het die Heilige Gees op almal gekom wat sy boodskap gehoor het.” (Acts 10:44) Om gevul te wees met die Heilige Gees was ‘n voorwaarde tot diens in die gemeente. “Medegelowiges, kyk uit vir sewe mans onder julle wat daarvoor bekend is dat hulle vol van die Heilige Gees is en wysheid het. Ons sal hulle dan vir hierdie bediening aanstel.” (Acts 6:3) Almal van ons wil ‘n lekker tyd en lewe hê, en sommige vind hierdie lekker tyd in verskillende soorte alkohol. Paulus vra dat ons nie dronk sal word van wyn nie, maar gevul word met die Heilige Gees. (Eph 5:18) ‘n lekker tyd sonder ‘n “hang-over”! Soos wat ‘n mens dronk word van wyn, (gevul word met wyn) kan ons wese gevul word met die Heilige Gees. Die Heilige Gees maak ‘n mens meer vrymoedig en “bold”. Mens verloor jou inhibisies en is nie meer skaam om te getuig of voor mense te bid nie. Ek dank God dat redding nie net ‘n reeks besluite en gedagtes is nie, maar ‘n ervaring en ontmoeting met ‘n lewende God. Wanneer Hy jou aanraak is jou lewe nooit weer dieselfde nie. Sommige mense se ontmoeting met God is dramaties soos Paulus wat ‘n lig sien en van Sy perd af val. (Hand 9:3-9) Nie elke mens se ervaring is so dramaties nie, maar iewers in die proses van redding en kind van God word moet daar iewers ‘n beduidende ervaring met God wees. Die Heilige Gees is ook die een wat jou kindskap seël en bevestig. “Hy het ons as sy eiendom gemerk en die Gees in ons harte gevestig as deposito wat as waarborg dien van alles wat Hy nog vir ons gaan gee.” (2 Corinthians 1:22)

Geloofsekerheid

So baie mense wil eers reg wees, ophou met verkeerde dade wat hulle weet God nie van hou nie voordat hulle kom en regmaak. So stel hulle uit, en kom nooit tot ‘n oorgawe nie. Of sommige mense werk hard om reg te lewe en reg te doen, sodat hulle werke vir God aanneemlik sal wees. Hulle vergelyk hulleself met ander sogenaamde gelowiges en oordeel dat hulle ook nie altyd reg doen nie. Op die einde kan hulle nooit sê en erken “ek is ‘n kind van God nie”. Hulle voel nie waardig nie! Hulle doen nog te veel sonde. “Maar soek eers die koninkryk van God en sy geregtigheid, en al hierdie dinge sal vir julle bygevoeg word.” (Matthew 6:33) Ons is almal soekers: Soekers na vrede en geluk, en innerlike tevredenheid. Ons soek ook na reg. Wat is die regte ding om te doen of te sê. Ons wil tog hê dat daar aan ons reg gedoen word in besigheid en dienslewering. Die geregtigheid van die mens staan egter in kontras teenoor God se geregtigheid. Die grootste misdadiger regverdig sy of haar optrede op die een of ander manier. Die egbreker regverdig die verraad, deur die skuld op sy of haar huweliksmaat te pak. Jesus vertel verskeie stories van mense wat gesoek het: Die man wat die pêrel van groot waarde gekry het (Mat 13:45-46); Die vrou wat die verlore muntstuk gesoek het. (Luk 15:8) en die man wat ‘n groot skat op ‘n land gekry het. (Mat 13:44) “Salig is die wat honger en dors na die geregtigheid, want hulle sal versadig word.” (Matthew 5:6) Om die koninkryk te vind is soos om ‘n groot skat te ontdek. Hierdie skat is ewig, onwankelbaar en onverganklik. (Heb 12:28) Maar wat is die Koninkryk van God? Jesus begin Sy prediking met hierdie boodskap: “Van toe af het Jesus begin om te preek en te sê: Bekeer julle, want die koninkryk van die hemele het naby gekom.” (Matthew 4:17) Die koninkryk van God spreek van Sy heerskappy, Sy wil, Sy orde en wêreld. Is dit nie die uitroep van so baie mense in hierdie tye van onheil nie? Ons verlang en hunker na God se wêreld! Sommige oorweeg selfmoord, net omdat hierdie wêreld so donker en onmoontlik vir hulle geword het. Wat wel alle verstand te bowe gaan is hoe soveel oënskynlike suksesvolle, bekende, en selfs bekroonde mense selfmoord pleeg. Dit is dus duidelik dat die geveg nie noodwendig fisies is nie, maar in mens se gedagte wêreld. Sommige mense kry dit reg om tevrede en gelukkig te wees. Ander kry nooit genoeg nie, en soek gerug na nog meer. “Want die koninkryk van God is nie spys en drank nie, maar geregtigheid en vrede en blydskap in die Heilige Gees.” (Romans 14:17)

Hier is die koninkryk nou mooi verduidelik: Die koninkryk is nie wat jy van buite af in die liggaam sit nie, maar wat van binne uit jou kom. Geregtigheid – Om met God reg te wees. Vrede – nie die afwesigheid van konflik nie, maar die vermoeë om te midde van konflik rustig en tevrede te wees. Vreugde in die Heilige Gees – Hierdie vreugde is aansteeklik! Dit is ‘n borrelende fontein van ‘n deurentyd bewustheid van God se teenwoordigheid. Hierdie drie ervarings is dan ook jou bewys dat jy wel reg met God is. Die geheim is die geskenk van geregtigheid! “Weens die moeitevolle lyde van sy siel sal Hy dit sien en versadig word; deur sy kennis sal my Kneg, die Regverdige, baie regverdig maak; en Hý sal hulle skuld dra.” (Isaiah 53:11) Dis ‘n skat wat ontdek is! Soos iemand wat die lotto gewen het, of ‘n stuk goud opgetel het. Dis verniet! Jy het nie daarvoor gewerk nie. “want almal het gesondig en dit ontbreek hulle aan die heerlikheid van God,en hulle word deur sy genade sonder verdienste geregverdig deur die verlossing wat in Christus Jesus is.” (Romans 3:23–25) Geregtigheid is die geskenk van Kindskap om weer soos Adam en Eva eertyds in volle verhouding sonder sonde met God te wandel. Geregtigheid wys ook na God se geregtigheid – Hy is die Ewige en absolute standaard van reg. Sy woord is reg en waar. Sy karakter is onbesproke en regverdig. Sonde is in wese ongeregtigheid, om Sy standaard te mis. Toe die Jongman by Jesus kom, hy het die wet volledig nagekom en kon nie aan iets dink waar hy nog kortkom nie. Hy wou volmaak wees. “Jesus antwoord hom: As jy volmaak wil wees, gaan verkoop jou goed en gee dit aan die armes, en jy sal ’n skat in die hemel hê; en kom hier, volg My.Maar toe die jongman dié woord hoor, het hy bedroef weggegaan; want hy het baie besittings gehad.En Jesus sê vir sy dissipels: Voorwaar Ek sê vir julle dat ’n ryk man beswaarlik in die koninkryk van die hemele sal ingaan.” (Matthew 19:21–23) Dit som presies die tema van geregtigheid tema op: Ons beste geregtigheid is nog steeds nie genoeg nie, want ons kan nie onsself red nie. As ons sou kon, hoekom het ons dan ‘n redder nodig? “Toe sy dissipels dit hoor, was hulle baie verslae en sê: Wie kan dan gered word?Maar Jesus het hulle aangekyk en vir hulle gesê: By mense is dit onmoontlik, maar by God is alle dinge moontlik. (Matthew 19:25–27)

Ons het dus geen ander keuse as om Sy geregtigheid as geskenk te ontvang nie. “Want uit genade is julle gered, deur die geloof, en dit nie uit julleself nie: dit is die gawe van God;nie uit die werke nie, sodat niemand mag roem nie.Want ons is sy maaksel, geskape in Christus Jesus tot goeie werke wat God voorberei het, sodat ons daarin kan wandel.DAAROM, onthou dat julle wat vroeër heidene in die vlees was en onbesnedenes genoem word deur die sogenaamde besnydenis wat in die vlees met hande verrig word,” (Ephesians 2:8–11) Ons is geskape om in Sy beeld, volgens sy wil en geregtigheid te leef, maar die eie-ek, en eie-wil het gekies om ons eie ding te doen. Mat 6:33 sê fokus op Sy geregtigheid, dit is dus wesenlik belangrik. Ons vertroue is nie in ons geregtigheid nie, maar Sy geregtigheid. “Want as ten gevolge van die misdaad van die één die dood geheers het deur die één, veel meer sal hulle wat die oorvloed van die genade en van die gawe van die geregtigheid ontvang, in die lewe heers deur die Één, Jesus Christus.” (Romans 5:17) Sy geskenk van geregtigheid stel ons instaat om weer te heers soos Adam, en die mens se skeppingsdoel te vervul. (Gen 1:28 en Rom 8:29) “In sy dae sal Juda verlos word en Israel veilig woon; en dit is sy naam waarmee Hy genoem sal word: DIE HERE ONS GEREGTIGHEID.” (Jeremiah 23:6) Ons lewe dus elke dag met hierdie woorde op ons lippe: “Die Here ons geregtigheid” “Jesus is my geregtigheid!” Die feit dat ons alle-eers hier begin, is ook belangrik. As ons in enige godsdiens oefening of praktyk begin, is die fokus weer op ons geregtigheid en word dit dooie werke. (Heb 6:1) Maar ons begin altyd eerstens, bo-alles deur Sy geregtigheid te soek, en vanuit Sy volmaakte offer te leef. Dis vanuit Sy geregtigheid dat ons

nou vrymoedigheid het om God te nader. (Heb 10:19; Heb 4:16)

in staat is om alles te doen. (Phil 4:13)

meer as oorwinnaars is. (Rom 8:37)

satan oorwin het (1 Joh 2:13; 4:4; 5:4-5)

die slawerny van sonde ontsnap (Joh 8:34-36)

elke geestelike gawe ontvang het in die hemel (Eph 1:3)

saam met Jesus sit in hemelse plekke (Eph 2:6)

Hierdie geskenk van geregtigheid maak ons eie, ons eien dit vir onsself toe, en Hy werk Sy krag in ons om Sy kinders te wees. Dis die krag van die Evangelie! Jesus beveel ons nie net om reg te leef nie, Hy werk die vermoë en krag in ons om Sy wil te doen. (Joh 1:12; Phil 2:13; Heb 13:21) “Maar almal wat Hom aangeneem het, aan hulle het Hy mag gegee om kinders van God te word, aan hulle wat in sy Naam glo;” (John 1:12)

Dit is God se genade aan die mens, dat Hy nie net vir ons gesê het hoe om te lewe nie, Hy het ons kom wys!! Jesus was net soos ons versoek en waarlik mens. (“TERWYL ons dan ’n groot Hoëpriester het wat deur die hemele deurgegaan het, naamlik Jesus, die Seun van God, laat ons die belydenis vashou.Want ons het nie ’n hoëpriester wat nie met ons swakhede medelye kan hê nie, maar een wat in alle opsigte versoek is net soos ons, maar sonder sonde.Laat ons dan met vrymoedigheid na die troon van die genade gaan, sodat ons barmhartigheid kan verkry en genade vind om op die regte tyd gehelp te word” (Hebrews 4:14–16)

Hoe word ek gered? Glo in Jesus!

Hoe leef ek as Christen? Jy leef Jesus se lewe en voorbeeld. In jou konteks, omgewing, situasie leef jy soos Jesus.

Kom ons kyk in meer diepte na Jesus se voorbeeld. Jesus het op meer as een geleentheid verklaar dat Hy niks kan doen sonder die Vader nie.

Joh 4:34 Jesus antwoord hulle: “My kos is om die wil te doen van Hom wat My gestuur het, en om sy werk klaar te maak.

Joh 5:19-20, 30 die Seun kan niks uit Homself doen tensy Hy die Vader dit sien doen nie. Want alles wat Hý doen, dit doen die Seun ook net so

Joh 5:30 Ek kan uit Myself niks doen nie. Soos Ek hoor, oordeel Ek; en my oordeel is regverdig, omdat Ek nie my wil soek nie, maar die wil van die Vader wat My gestuur het.

Joh 6:38 Want Ek het uit die hemel neergedaal, nie om my wil te doen nie, maar die wil van Hom wat My gestuur het.

Joh 8:28 uit Myself doen Ek niks nie; maar net wat my Vader My geleer het, dit spreek Ek.

Joh 12:49 Ek het nie uit my eie gepraat nie, maar die Vader wat My gestuur het, het aan My ’n opdrag gegee oor wat Ek moet sê en wat Ek sal verkondig

Joh 14:10 Glo jy dan nie dat Ek in ’n hegte verhouding met die Vader leef en Hy met My nie? Die gedagtes wat Ek met julle deel, kom nie uit Myself nie, maar dit kom van die Vader wat in My bly en deur My sy werke uitvoer.

Joh 14:24 Wie My egter nie liefhet nie, is nie gehoorsaam aan my woorde nie. Die boodskap wat julle hoor, is nie Myne nie, maar die Vader s’n wat My gestuur het

Joh 14:31 “Ek sal nie meer baie langer met julle praat nie, want die regeerder van hierdie wêreld is op pad, alhoewel hy geen houvas op My het nie. 31 Die wêreld moet weet dat Ek die Vader liefhet en daarom nougeset doen wat die Vader aan My opgedra het. Staan op, laat ons hiervandaan vertrek!”

Joh 16:13 Wanneer Hy ook al kom, die Gees van die waarheid, sal Hy julle begelei in die volle waarheid. Hy sal nie uit Homself praat nie, maar net sê wat Hy hoor. Hy sal die dinge wat gaan kom, aan julle meedeel

Mat 26:39 Hy het toe ’n entjie verder neergeval en met sy gesig plat teen die grond gebid: “O my Vader! As dit moontlik is, neem tog hierdie lydensbeker van My weg. Doen nogtans nie soos ek wil nie, maar soos Ú wil.”

Ons lewe volg dieselfde patroon. Soos iemand wat ‘n nuwe dieët volg en lewenstyl aanpassings maak.

“Wie my gebooie het en dié bewaar, dit is hy wat My liefhet; en wie My liefhet, hóm sal my Vader liefhê, en Ek sal hom liefhê en My aan hom openbaar.” (John 14:21)

“maar die Trooster, die Heilige Gees, wat die Vader in my Naam sal stuur, Hy sal julle alles leer en sal julle herinner aan alles wat Ek vir julle gesê het.” (John 14:26)

“Ek is die wynstok, julle die lote. Wie in My bly, en Ek in hom, hy dra veel vrug; want sonder My kan julle niks doen nie.” (John 15:5)

“Want almal wat deur die Gees van God gelei word, dié is kinders van God.” (Romans 8:14)

“En die salwing wat julle van Hom ontvang het, bly in julle, en julle het nie nodig dat iemand julle leer nie; maar soos dieselfde salwing julle aangaande alles leer, so is dit ook waar en geen leuen nie; en soos dié julle geleer het, so moet julle in Hom bly.” (1 John 2:27)

Jesus se lewe van geregtigheid was dus Sy gehoorsaamheid aan die Vader. Hierin was Hy vir ons ‘n voorbeeld. Dit is dan moontlik om so ‘n verhouding met die Here, skepper van die heelal te hê! Hierdie nuwe rigting en lewensuitkyk word ‘n wonderlike pelgrimsreis van avontuur saam met Jesus. Die Heilige Gees maak die Woord lewendig en relevant in ons lewe, en leer ons hoe om te leef. Soos wat ons hoor en doen, groei ons geestelik en word verander van heerlikheid tot heerlikheid in die volheid wat Christus vir ons bestem het.

Categories
Preke

God se Bloudruk vir Vriendskappe

God se Bloudruk vir Vriendskappe

Die Bybel is ‘n boek oor verhoudings. God is in wese ‘n drie-enige verhouding. Sonde is die dade wat verhoudings skade bring en verwoes.  Sonde het hoofsaaklik vier verhoudings verwoes: ons verhouding met God, met onsself, met mekaar en met die skepping.  Christus is God in mensvorm, om ons te wys hoe om al hierdie verhoudinge te herstel. Hy is die bemiddelaar en tussenganger wat ons verhouding met God herstel het, deur Sy eie lewe as offer te gee vir ons sonde en oortredinge.  Die hele skepping is in verhouding met al die dele van die skepping.  Die skepping is dus een groot verhouding van verhoudings! As een lid weggeneem word, affekteer dit die geheel.  God is dus ons antwoord en bloudruk vir verhoudings. Hoe meer ons nader aan hom leef, en in dieper verbondenheid met Hom leef, hoe gesonder en reg is ons verhoudings.  Om die Here te dien maak ons mooier mense: die vrug van die Gees, Jesus se voorbeeld wys ons hoe om in vergifnis en waarheid te leef.
Relationships are hard, exhausting, unpredictable, and time-consuming, which is one reason too many of us enjoy relationships with the lifespan of fruit flies. Relationships don’t come to us like Christmas packages, all neatly wrapped with ribbons and bows. Relationships come more to us like an abused package from the post office: ripped, torn, its guts spilling out, the contents often broken. (Beautiful, Leonard Sweet)

Ek kan jou nie seer maak, sonder om myself seer te maak nie. – Ghandi

Aristoteles se drie motiewe van vriendskap is: nuttigheid, plesier en assosiasie.  Ons het vriende nodig wanneer ons in nood is – Nuttigheid. Ons wil lekker dinge saam met vriende doen – Plesier. Ons voel meer waardevol wanneer iemand belangrik ons vriend is – Waarde.
In Johannes 11 wys Jesus ons ‘n baie meer dieper en goddelike motief.
Jesus leer ken die gesin tydens een van sy reise na Betanië, ’n dorpie net 3km buite Jerusalem, toe die oudste suster Martha Jesus in haar huis ontvang het. Luk. 10:38-42 Hier sien ons Marta is die ouer meer besorgde verantwoordelike een. Maria is die een wat Jesus se hart wou raak, sy wou niks mis nie.  Hy sou dikwels weer daar oorbly wanneer Hy in Jerusalem moes wees. Mark 11:11 Vriendskappe gaan werklik eers dieper, wanneer ons ‘n huis deel.  Daarom het Jesus se 12 vriende saam met hom geleef vir drie jaar.  Daar gebeur iets wanneer ons agter die voorgee van openbare profiele kom, wanneer ons mekaar beleef besig met aardse menslike dinge, soos kos maak, badkamers deel, toilette deel, slaapkamers deel. Dis ongemaklik en ongerieflik, maar dis waar ons werklik mekaar beter leer ken. Jesus se opgroeijare het meestal in Nasaret gebeur, ‘n klein gemeenskap van arm boere en skrynwerkers nie meer as 250 – 400 mense nie.  Almal het mekaar geken, moes alles deel, en huise was in klein groepies teen mekaar gebou.  Die lewe was moeilik en almal moes help, en hulle deel doen vir oorlewing.  Jesus verstaan dus verhoudings, Hy leef verhoudings!
Op hierdie tydstip van Jesus se bediening was dit vir Jesus gevaarlik om in Jerusalem te wees. Hy was amper gestenig ’n paar dae tevore, die Jode wil hom in hegtenis neem. Joh 11:8; 10:31, 39 Die familie weet dit, daarom net die in kennis stel woorde. “Die een wat jy lief het is baie siek” Hulle woorde wys hulle respek en geloof in Jesus, asook hulle vrymoedigheid met hom, Hy is hulle vriend. Hulle het hom al dikwels gehelp, en Hy sal hulle ook help.  Die dissipels is soos gewoonlik meer op hulle self ingestel as op die Here.  Hulle verstaan nie Jesus se woorde nie en hulle maak die verkeerde gevolgtrekkinge. Jesus moet hulle reguit verduidelik wat Hy bedoel toe hy eers sê Lasarus slaap, dat Lasarus dood is, want hulle verstaan nie.  Thomas se woorde, dat hulle saam met Lasarus gaan sterf, dui op sy pessimisme soos gewoonlik, Thomas die twyfelaar is bekommerd vir sy eie lewe. (Joh 14:5; 20:24–29)
Jesus het dus geweet Lasarus is dood, nogtans gaan Jesus nie onmiddellik nie. God wil die omstandighede gebruik vir Sy glorie.  Jesus sê Hy is bly dat hy nie onmiddellik gegaan het nie, want die Vader gaan die Seun verheerlik.  Vriendskap is ’n hefboom, ’n onsigbare band wat jou verplig om te help.  Mense sal op grond van ’n vriendskap dinge doen, wat hulle nie eintlik wil doen nie. Vriendskap is ’n emosionele kommoditeit.  Jesus bied sy vriendskap en liefde, maar laat hom nie verbind nie.  Dit moes maar ‘n bitter pil gewees het vir Marta en Maria om te sluk, dat Jesus nie dadelik kom nie.
Jesus se optrede druis in, teen wat reg is oor hoe die meeste mense vriendskap verstaan.
Jesus laat weet hulle nie dat Hy nie nou dadelik gaan kom nie – dus swak kommunikasie.  Jesus gee nie onmiddellik in tot hulle noodroep nie – dus nie ingestel op menslike behoeftes nie – Maar die wil van die Vader. Hy het voedsel beskikbaar om hom te vul wat nie van ’n mens is nie.  Joh 4:32, 34 Vgl Mat 4:4 Hier leer ons ook ‘n waardevolle les: Ons soek nie vriende omdat ons ‘n behoefte het na vriendskap nie, Jesus was die seun van God, en het niemand se hulp nodig gehad nie, ook nie vriende nie.  Tog kies hy vriende. Is hy die gestuurde wat vriende uitkies.  Dis die kern van die groot Kommissie: “Gaan dan heen en maak Vriende van alle nasies.” Ons kies dus nie ons vriende op grond van waaroor ons alles saamstem, en dat ons van dieselfde goed hou nie.  Ons kies ook nie vriende omdat hulle iets vir ons gedoen het nie.  Dis maklik om liefde te gee, as ek dit eers ontvang het. Jesus stuur ons, om ons vyande lief te hê, (Mat 5:44-48) om vriende te maak van mense wat vir ons niks kan beteken of gee nie.
“As u hier was sou Lasarus geleef het” Hulle verwyt liggies Jesus se afwesigheid. ( Joh 11:21; 32) Selfs die begrafnisgangers en toeskouers verwyt hom ook. Joh 11:37 “Kon Hy wat die oë van die blinde man geopen het, nie maak dat hierdie man ook nie gesterf het nie?” Maar Marta en Maria neem nie “offense” nie.
Beide Maria en Martha spreek hulle geloof uit: ek glo: (Joh 11:7)
– Sy erken Jesus as die gekose Gesalfde (Messias: Christus – vgl. Joh 1:20,41).
– Hy is die Seun van God (vgl. Joh 1:34,39; 10:36)
– en die Profeet wat na die wêreld toe gestuur is (vgl. Joh 3:31) om God aan die mense bekend te maak. In een asem ’n belangrike getuienis oor Christus.
Offense: verwoes die vloei tussen en skakeling, konneksie tussen mense.  Moet nie offense vat teenoor die Here, omdat jy dink Hy laat is nie.  (Jes 55:8-9)
Jesus se trane wys egter op Jesus se seer in hierdie verhouding.  (Joh 11:38)  Hy het al by meer as een geleentheid vir hulle gesê, dat Hy gaan sterf. Hier by die dood van Sy vriend Lasarus, sien Jesus Sy dood. Hy moes dink aan die sonde las van hierdie mense wat Hy eersdaags sal moet dra, en hulle sien dit nie. Die Griekse woord “groaning”, embrimaomai  (em-brim-ah-om-ahee); Strong’s #1690:  Derived from en,  “in,” and brime,  “strength.” The word is used to express anger (Mark 14:5), to indicate a speaking or acting with deep feeling (John 11:33, 38), and for stern admonishment (Matt. 9:30; Mark 1:43). to roar, storm with anger; to be enraged, indignant, to express indignation against someone.  Since Christ could hardly have felt anger toward Mary and the mourning friends, it is probable that his deep emotion was due to his inwardly protesting the indifference, ignorance, blindness, thoughtlessness, of the people… seeing His own coming death… the crucified the wrong person.
Die grootste hartseer in enige vriendskap is, dat jou vriend(in) jou nie sien nie. Jou maat sien nie jou hart nie, sien nie jou swaarkry, lyding of swaarheid nie.  Dis die een enkele sonde/oortreding wat enige verhouding op die afdraandpad kan stuur en uiteindelike verwoes. Die persoon wat die naaste aan my is, sien my nie!  Jesus se liefde is groter as ons oortredings, Hy gee nog steeds Sy lewe, en vergewe ons.
Deur hierdie wonderwerk wil Jesus iets van die glorie van die verhouding (eenheid) wat Hy met die Vader het vertoon.  Let op Marta se woorde; “God sal U alles gee wat u vra” Toe Jesus by die graf staan bid Hy nie eers nie, Hy sê: “Ek dank U Vader dat U my verhoor het, ek weet dat U my ALTYD verhoor” Jesus het ‘n vriendskap, Vader Seun verhouding met die Vader.  As jy iemand enigiets kan vra is jy goeie vriende met daardie persoon.  Dis is die crux van die evangelie, Ons kan God “Pappa” noem.  Geen ander geloof op aarde het hierdie benaming vir hulle God nie.  Hierdie sou later ‘n tema word in Jesus se prediking, die feit dat ons deur ons geloof in Christus ook God enigiets kan vra. (Joh 14:13; 15:16)
Tweedens wil Jesus met die einde van alle vriendskappe deel naamlik die dood. Ons sê so graag “Friends forever”, maar besef vandag dit is ‘n illusie! Jesus wek Sy vriend op, en verklaar: As julle in My glo sal julle sekerlik nie sterwe nie.  Daar is geen ewige vriendskap sonde vriendskap met God nie.  Soos selle mees gesond is wanneer hulle verbind is aan mekaar, is ons die meeste gesond wanneer ons eerstens met God versoen is.

Indien ons nie eers met God vriende is nie,
gaan ons altyd goddelike eise stel aan aardse vriendskappe wat nie kan hou nie.

Na Jesus se opstanding, en uitstorting van die Heilige Gees word die kerk die vrug en resultaat van mense wat eers met God herstel en versoen is, en dan in ‘n goddelike eenheid met mekaar leef. Die eenheid in die Handeling Kerk is gegrond op: Acts 4:32; “Een van hart en sinne” – Afwesig in die vlees maar tog teenwoordig Col 2:5 – As een lid ly, ly die hele liggaam – 1 Cor 12:26.
Laastens: Joh 11:44 Lasarus word weer lewendig, sonder seremonie, en groot vertoon. Jesus spreek bloot ‘n woord, en Lasarus word lewendig.  Jesus bly nie eers vir ete nie! Weereens verbreek Jesus die reels van aardse-vriendskappe. Jesus gee daarop opdrag dat Lasarus losgemaak moet word sodat hy kan huis toe gaan.
Jesus se vriende het Hom nie gesien nie, die mense vir wie Hy Sy lewe gee, het Hom nie ontvang nie, maar daar was een vrou wat gesien het. Maria kom salf Sy voete met duur olie in die volgende hoofstuk. Joh 12:1–8 (Vgl Mat 26:6; Mark 14:3) Sy moes tydens Lasarus se opwekking, Jesus se oë gesien het, sy het dieper gekyk, en verstaan dat Jesus eersdaags Sy lewe gaan gee vir die mensdom.  Niemand anders het Jesus se vooraf leiding gesien of verstaan nie, Hy moes Sy las alleen dra.  Ons ontvang deur die geloof dié geskenk van Jesus se geregtigheid, hierdie spesiale verhouding met die Vader.  Deur ons verbondenheid met die Vader laat Hy ons anders kyk. Ons vergeet van onsself, en sien ander se seer en las raak.  Ons kyk met Jesus oë.
 

Categories
Sermons

How deeply are we connected in Marriage

How deeply are we connected in Marriage

God instituted marriage since Adam and Eve, (Gen 2:24) for us to experience the union that exists in the Godhead. (Joh 17:21) The Trinity is a mysterious union of oneness. We do not worship 3 Gods, He is one. (Deut 6:4) Yet they are distinctively different. This unity of diversity is the end goal of the marriage relationship.
“ Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, “For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mat 19:4-5)
Mixure of sand2The marriage ceremony symbolizes covenant. The giving of rings, an unbroken circle, and symbol of eternity, the vows, pointing towards a lasting covenant made.
In the Old Testament covenant, the procedure required blood: An animal was slaughtered to testify to the fact that we, after our death cannot change our will and testament. The emphasis is on: CANNOT! It is impossible to separate!
We may not feel “one” most of the time, yet like two containers of different kinds of sand mixed together, it is impossible to completely separate the two substances again. This oneness occurs and develops like a new tree planted, it grows and matures over time, become stronger and more evident.
You and your partner are more “one” than you may think.
Let’s look at some research being done over the last two decades on synergy and harmony in a long-term relationship.

Oneness instituted with first intercourse.

In Jewish culture, the marriage was consummated not with the solemn words of the preacher, but with the act of intercourse. In Biblical times, a couple consummated their marriage in a room, called the chuppah. After their union they would come out and the bed linen presented for the evidence of blood. This was to proof the chastity of the bride. It is obvious that God intended the consummation of marriage to be a covenant making between two individuals. The circuitry of the brain gets wired through first experiences: Should two individuals not wire together at the same time, writing a code of unity from the start? When we had sex with a number of people, our brain circuits becomes set in a certain way, it can be quite a challenge to find and bond with a partner with weird adapted circuitry.
Women retain and carry living DNA from every man with whom they have sexual intercourse, according to a new study by the University of Seattle and the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center.  http://archive.is/phVpT#selection-805.0-805.190

The Bonding chemicals release with first intercourse

Jeremy Wiles explain the internal mechanism of our first sexual encounter well.
There’s a reason why breaking up from a sexual relationship is much more emotionally painful and much harder to forget than one that didn’t involve sex. There are several neurochemical processes that occur during sex, which are the “glue” to human bonding. Sex is a powerful brain stimulant. When someone is involved sexually, it makes him or her want to repeat that act. Their brain produces lots of dopamine—a powerful chemical, which is compared to heroin on the brain. Dopamine is your internal pleasure/reward system. When dopamine is involved, it changes how we remember. The other part is oxytocin, which is designed to mainly help us forget what is painful. Oxytocin is a hormone produced primarily in women’s bodies. When a woman has a child and she is breastfeeding, she produces lots of oxytocin, which bonds her to her child. For this reason, mothers will die for their child, because they’ve become emotionally bonded due to the oxytocin that is released when they’re skin-to-skin with their child. The same phenomenon occurs when a woman is intimate with a man. Oxytocin is released, and this makes her bond to him emotionally. Have you wondered sometimes why a woman will stay with a man who’s abusing her? We know now that it’s because she bonded to him emotionally because of the oxytocin released during sex. Men produce vasopressin, which is also referred to as the “monogamy hormone,” and it has the same effect as oxytocin has on a woman. It bonds a man to a woman. These “bonding” agents narrow our selection to one person. That is wonderful in a marriage relationship but really bad in a dating relationship because you lose your objectivity when you’re searching for your potential lifemate.[1] Oxytocin is a pro-social hormone released during body contact. It is involved in nursing behavior, trust and “mind-reading” as well as counteracting stress and fear.  All these chemicals working in the body have one obvious goal namely: oneness, bonding, intimate closeness and dependency on another. It is also true that physical sex does not satisfy the deepest of desire in the human spirit, we need to connect and synchronize soul and spirit to experience sustainable bliss.

Learn to Work together:

Elizabeth Bernstein writes in her blog “When It Never Gets Easier to Say Goodbye”:
Scientists believe the attachment system is an evolutionary process that humans developed to survive. Early hunter-gatherers learned to work together, and children perished without the care and protection of an adult.[2]
Over time we learn to develop an intricate pattern of working and operating together to deal with life over time. For example: One partner focuses on the finances, the other on child raising. The one partner knows how to use technology, the other one are good with building social relationships. We both add to the relationship based on our diverse personalities, values, skills and talents. This is why it is so painful when we detach from each other, the person you have relied on is gone. Once we move beyond the romantic phase, and the power struggle phase remaining committed we eventually begin to celebrate our differences. For it is our diversity that is really useful when it comes to teamwork. Initially we try to change our partners to be like us, but eventually, we begin to see that it is their unlike-us-ness that is most useful.

Your relationship has a unique thumbprint

John Gottman says that all relationships have patterns, sort of like a thumbprint. And, that by witnessing just a small portion of the relationship pattern, (the thumbprint, if you will) he can make a fairly accurate call on whether the relationship will survive. Gottman has screened thousands of couples over more than 30 years, getting scientific proof on what make some relationships last and others fail. He has discovered that couples who argue more, is not necessary in more danger than seeming peaceful couples, the bottom line is the 5:1 ratio, 5 Times more positive experiences than negative ones. Each couple develops unique internal dynamics of problem solving, negotiating daily challenges. [3]

You Share a brain

Celia Harris and colleagues at Macquarie University recently reviewed their previously published and new research on social remembering by long-term intimate couples. “Remembering together – How long-term couples develop interconnected memory systems”
Together, couples were able to put together “richer, more vivid descriptions” of moments they’d shared, and, at times, the way one partner remembered something helped the other person see an old memory in a new light. Though, of course, we also know that human memory is incredibly faulty, and that a story can change from one telling to another. So it’s less that couples help each other remember an objectively accurate account of what happened and more like they help each other put the event in its proper emotional context. The memory-enhancing effect was most pronounced in older couples, and it worked better for partners who were kinder to each other and who reported having more intimate relationships, Fradera notes. Be nice to your partner; he or she may be the keeper of many of your memories. [4]

We create our own unique vocabulary.

Erin Brodwin writes the following in her blog about: “Science says these 5 things happen to couples that’s been together over a long time” I include her following points.
Ever get a text from your significant other that means absolutely nothing on its own but carries a certain significance that you can’t quite explain? This “insider” language is one of the first signs that the two of you are operating in sync, writes Shenk. According to a study from University of Texas professor of communication Robert Hopper, secret communication accomplishes two things: First, it helps deepen your bond — romantic or platonic. Second, it establishes a unique, shared identity. Private language can include everything from inside jokes to nicknames, writes Ohio State University psychologist Carol Bruess in a study of romantic couples. Bruess’ research suggests a link between how often partners use these private words and how satisfied they are with their relationship. Bruess found that the more often couples used secret words and phrases, the happier they tended to say they were. [5]

You start to sound alike

In addition to having their own private vocabulary, long term couples eventually “start to match each other in the basic rhythms and syntactical structures of their speech,” writes Shenk. Part of that is a result of a phenomenon that psychologists call “emotional contagion.” Basically, when two people spend enough time together, they begin to match each other’s speech patterns. We mimic everything from the other person’s accent to the amount and length of pauses he or she puts between words and sentences. There’s some evidence to suggest that these changing speech patterns can even serve as one indicator of how long a couple might stay together. Part of a 2010 study of language use among couples that looked at couples’ text messages, for example, found that when two people “sounded” more alike (in terms of the words and language structure they used in their messages) they were also more likely to still be dating three months later.

You have a bunch of inside jokes that no one else thinks are funny.

Research suggests that couples are more likely to mirror each other’s body language — which in turn makes them look alike — because they’re drawing from a wealth of knowledge that only they share. This “insider info” — all of your shared experiences and memories — informs your gestures, posture, and the words and phrases you use with each other. A 2007 study, for example, found that people were more likely to copy each other’s eye gaze when they’d both heard the same background information before their conversation.

You start to look alike.

University of Michigan psychologist Robert Zajonc conducted an experiment to test this phenomenon. He analyzed photographs of couples taken when they were newlyweds and photographs of the same couples taken 25 years later. The results showed that the couples had grown to look more like each other over time. And, the happier that the couple said they were, the more likely they were to have increased in their physical similarity. http://www.livescience.com/8384-couples-start.html In his influential 1987 study, psychologist Robert Zajonc found that there’s a very obvious reason that married couples start to look alike: They use the same muscles so often that, over time, they start to mirror each other. This coordination of movement isn’t accidental, says Shenk. Instead, it “reflects what psychologists call a ‘shared coordinative structure’ which includes how we harmonize our gaze, body sway, and the little mannerisms and idiosyncrasies of how we speak.

You stop self-censoring

The way most of us speak with strangers, acquaintances and even close friends are markedly different from how we talk when we’re alone with our partner.
When we’re with others, most of us “self-monitor.” That is, we try to please the people around us by adapting our behavior to suit theirs. But when we’re with an intimate partner, we let go of this pattern of behavior and instead “talk fluidly and naturally,” Shenk writes. In other words, we stop having to constantly check ourselves before we speak. We’re more candid and more open. Many of the pairs Shenk talks to in his book have such a relationship. University of California Berkeley psychologist Daniel Kahneman, for example, tells Shenk: “Like most people, I am somewhat cautious about exposing tentative thoughts to others.” But after he’d spent a few years working with his research partner, cognitive psychologist Amos Tverksy, “this caution was completely absent.”

You have unconsciously selected the best DNA for a healthy offspring:

Sheril Kirshenbaum writes a brief for CNN, on the science of kissing. The lips are the most exposed erogenous zone, and a good kiss can lead us to unconsciously coming back for more. These experiences lies deep in our unconscious mind and memory, because of the involvement of all our five senses, leading to attachment and bonding.
Beyond obvious mood spoilers such as poor hygiene and bad breath, we each have a distinct natural scent that appears to guide us toward choosing a partner with compatible DNA. Scientists have found that women prefer the scents of men with a complementary set of genes that code for the immune system. The benefit may be that if children come along down the line, they would be well-equipped to ward off disease. [6]
I hope I have made my point! We are more “one” than we think or feel. These attachments are mostly on an unconscious level, but we need to consciously agree and live a covenant lifestyle towards each other too.

Practical Steps to Preserve the Unity

twotreesone1) Understand the eternal value and quality of the covenant relationship. What a big difference will it make when we realize the problem is not your partner. The two of you are not that much different, you mostly want the same things. This is my experience with counseling couples over the years that both partners crave and desire the same things. The wife may complain that she did not feel loved and appreciated anymore because the husband is away a lot for business, the husband would complain that he does not feel connected with his wife, because she spends too much time with their children and her girlfriends.
The Godhead exists because unity is always first on the agenda. They always begin from this premise. You will handle a disagreement differently when you start from the point of what the two of you agree on. There is no escape, no separation, no hiding, no detachment – no divorce! We have to work it out. Divorce is simply never an option. We keep on engaging, trying, working it out, have love find a way, we keep on growing, becoming better. Do not take offense, and guard your hearts!
2) Covenant language. Many couples talk themselves out of marriage because they have already separated in their hearts. Point 1 deal with the heart; point 2 deals with our words. We should never use the word divorce. We check our tone of voice. Our tone should always be respectful, mixed with honor. We speak life not death. Beware of complaining, murmuring and negative talk. Also be aware of the criticism, contempt, stonewalling and defensive talk – John Gottman’s four horses of the apocalypse announcing the end and ruin of the relationship. Song of Solomon is a beautiful expression of the language of covenant partners in love! May we never stop to speak love poetry.
3) Covenant actions. Actions speak louder than words. What do our actions testify off? The proof is in the doing. Doing the small things, being kind, and mindful. Covenant decisions and loyalty. Is it loyal to your partner to share deep heart issues with anyone, but your partner? Quality time! Keeping one another informed. Do not take any decisions unless you are in agreement. This is the primary way to honor and respect each other. Gottman’s 5:1 ratio is all about positive bidding. The couples that continue to remain happy in the relationship are the ones that get a 70 % positive result. This entails both parties denying of self. Dying to self and putting your partner’s needs first, is a powerful covenant action!
When our dog gets sick, we do not kill them, nor leave them to recover by themselves. We take them to a veterinarian. The same with our cars, when they break, we do not abandon them, and solemnly swear to never drive them again, rather we take them to a mechanic. Why do we give up on our marriages so easily? We are so reluctant to go for help, or go for counseling. We can read a book, or go to a marriage retreat. We can go to our pastor and get help. Marriage is holy, and worth fighting for!
[1] http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/39405-science-proves-premarital-sex-rewires-the-brain
[2] http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10000872396390443995604578002352537833908
[3] Why Marriages succeed or fail. John Gottman
[4] Harris, C., Barnier, A., Sutton, J., & Keil, P. (2014). Couples as socially distributed cognitive systems: Remembering in everyday social and material contexts Memory Studies, 7 (3), 285-297 http://digest.bps.org.uk/2014/07/remembering-together-how-long-term.html
[5] http://www.businessinsider.com/couples-have-a-shared-mind-2015-5[6] http://edition.cnn.com/2012/02/14/opinion/kirshenbaum-science-kissing/

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Wie is my Navolger? Wie los jy in jou plek, wanneer jy weg is?

Wie is my Navolger? Wie los jy in jou plek, wanneer jy weg is?

Discipleship

Wie is my Navolger?

PATTERN YOURSELVES after me [follow my example], as I imitate and follow Christ (the Messiah). 1 Cor 11:1 Wie is jou navolgers? Kan jy ook hierdie vers met oortuiging vir jou kinders en volgelinge sê? In terme van Leierskap sê John Maxwell; “If you leading and no one is following, you’re only taking a walk in the park.” Iemand het my eendag gevra: “What type of Christianity are your church creating?” Die vraag het lank by my gebly. Die vraag wat elke leier sekerlik sal moet antwoord aan die Here is; watse tipe Christene wil God hê? Die Woord is egter duidelik. Ons verheerlik God die meeste wanneer ons die meeste soos Jesus leef en handel! Mense wat nie meer rondgegooi word deur winde van lering nie, wat standvastig in hulle geloof kan bly staan selfs in tye van verdrukking, vervolging en lyding. Mense wat onder die moeilikste omstandighede, nog steeds Jesus se geur versprei! Mense wat nie meer vasgevang is in gewoonte sondes nie, maar heilig en toegewy aan God lewe, sonder trots, ego en selfverheerliking. Mense wat gesterf het in self, en daagliks hulle kruis opneem in Sy opstandingskrag! DIT IS DIE TIPE CHRISTENSKAP WAT GOD SOEK!

Van alle aktiwiteite, programme, byeenkomste, konferensies, wat die kerk ook al mag hou; as ons nie dissipels maak nie, is die groei en getalle van korte duur. Dis maklik om duisende mense te kry vir een byeenkoms, maar baie moeilik om een dissipel te maak wat uiteindelik op hulle beurt ook weer ‘n dissipel sal maak.

 

Volhoubare groei in die kerk is alleenlik moontlik wanneer elkeen lewe om die wêreld volgelinge te maak van Jesus!

DiscipleOns natuurlike navolgers is ons kinders. Hulle sien, hoor, en voel ons elke beweging en modelleer hulle lewens volgens ons voorbeeld, en ook ons foute. Casting Crowns se liedjie “Slow Fade” sê dit mooi; “Be careful little feet where you go, for it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow”.

Jy maak dissipels sonder dat jy dit weet. Wat jy praat en leef, raak mense om jou. Sonder dat jy weet sien hulle of jou dade ooreenstem met jou uitsprake. Jesus leef in jou, en mense word outomaties na Hom toe aangetrek. Skinder is niks anders as dissipels maak van jou storie nie. Deur jou offense te deel, en mense te kry om simpatie te hê, wen jy dissipels vir jou ‘cause’, oor hoe verontreg jy is. Ons is geroep om mense te inspireer om ook te wil hê wat ons het – JESUS die Christus!

Die groot “Commission” Jesus se opdrag aan sy dissipels was: “Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life” (Message) of “Daarom moet julle na elke volk op aarde toe gaan en hulle my volgelinge maak” (Lewende Bybel) Mat 28:19 Dis die enigste volhoubare groei in die Kerk. Jou redding is nie net vir jouself nie, God wil deur jou die Wêreld raak met Sy genade en manier van lewe.

Jesus is ons missie, visie en algehele rede waarom ons bestaan.

Ons geloofspad met Jesus is ‘n reis van groei na volwassenheid in Hom. Hierdie groei kan nie sonder die medewerking van die liggaam plaasvind nie. (Efe 4:11-16) Dit is belangrik om ook te besef dat dissipelskap die beste werk binne die liggaam, want ons skiet almal tekort, mense faal ons, dit is ongesond dat leiding net van een persoon afkomstig is. Binne die raamwerk van familie, en die dinamiek van familie, en juis die diversiteit van verskillende rolle, ouderdomme en persoonlikhede wat optimale groei meebring. Die dissipelskap verhouding is net vir ’n tydperk, nie vir ’n leeftyd nie. Jesus het net 2,5 jr gehad om sy dissipels gereed te kry om oor te neem.

Lewensfase Behoefte Volgeling se rol Leier se rol
Geboorte Voorbeeld en rigting gee Gehoorsaamheid Inspireer
Kleuter Onvoorwaardelike Liefde, en beskerming Waarheid Modelleer
Jongmens Vorming van identiteit en vryheid om op eie te ontwikkel Nederigheid Afrigter
Volwassene Vennootskap en vriendskap Samewerking Vennoot

Terwyl ons almal in Hom opgroei na volwassenheid, hardloop ons ons eie wedloop. Petrus wou weet wat van Johannes? Jesus antwoord hom: “As Ek wil hê dat hy in die lewe moet bly totdat Ek weer kom, is dit nie jou saak nie. Volg jy My!” Dis nog een van die paradokse van die Evangelie: Ons kan nie sonder mekaar nie, maar elkeen hardloop volgens sy of haar eie pas. Ons oë is nie op mense gevestig nie, maar op Jesus die voleinder van ons geloof. (Heb 12:2)

Harvester is by uitstek ‘n verhouding georiënteerde gemeente, mense stap nie noodwendig sommer net in ‘n diens in en word deel nie. Groei vind veral binne die raamwerk van verhoudinge en spesifiek die dissipelskap-verhouding plaas. Ons hou tans verskeie “oes” (Harvest Events) waar mense kom besoek, dit is belangrik dat elke medewerker in die geloof wakker is in die gees om konneksie te maak met hierdie ‘soekers’. As volwasse gelowige kom jy nie meer na die diens net om te kom ontvang nie, jy kom om mense te bedien met dit wat jy in Christus ontvang het.

andyDISSIPELSKAP 101

– Kom gereeld bymekaar. Weeklikse saambid, Bybelstudie, gesprekke, berading, uitreike en bediening aan ander.

– Die ideale dissipelskap groep is 3 mense. Dit verplaas die fokus van een persoon as die leidende figuur, na die hele groep. Dit maak die mees volwasse lid ook ‘n deelnemer. Daar is meer veiligheid, volhoubaarheid, balans en krag in die verhouding van drie as net twee.

– Die kleingroep bring intieme interpersoonlike vertroue en oopmaak mee, sodat Jesus se lig verandering kan bring deur die krag van die Heilige Gees. Onbybelse geloofsoortuigings wat mense gevange hou, kan aangespreek word soos die die Here dit na voorskyn bring. Dissipelskap is die proses, waar die Here alles wat nie Jesus is nie wegsny.

– Beweging is lewe en groei: Deur passief net dienste by te woon, lei tot stagnasie. Deur aktief te begin bedien, van jouself te gee, en mense se groei op jou hart te dra bring jou eie groei mee. Ons Christenskap kan nie net oor ons eie belange gaan nie, dus juis in jou uitgee dat jy weer vol word. Dis in dien, dat jy bedien word. Dis in gee, dat jy vol word! Ha nee, spectators!

AKSIES:

1. Vas en Bid oor dissipelskap: Laat die Here self vir jou sleutels gee en lei hoe om te begin.

2. Lys die name van wie die Here na jou toe gestuur het om te help en te mentor. Identifiseer jou dissipels, hulle is na jou toe gestuur, en jy na hulle. “Divine Connections” Dink aan Cornelius en Petrus.

3. Verskillende tipe en vlakke van dissipels. (3, 12, 70, skare) Wie is jy besig om op te rig, om te doen wat jy doen? Aan wie gaan jy oorgee? Wat los jy agter, en wat vat jy saam na jou dood? Siele is ’n ewige kommoditeit.

4. Kry ’n tyd wanneer jul bymekaar kan kom. As jy net 2.5 jr gehad het om iemand alles te leer wat jy weet, met watse dringendheid sou jy aandag gegee het aan die taak?

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Discover God’s heart and blueprint for family

Discover God’s heart and blueprint for family

God intended family since the beginning. God made Adam and saw that he was alone, and needed a helpmate. He made Eve. Then they had children, obeying the first command to multiply and fill the earth. (Gen 1:28) This rule of multiplication is currently the primary method how Islam is intending to conquer the world. They do not integrate, learn the language, abandon their traditions and clothing. Yet they are now residing over the world, and expanding through population growth percentage of 3.1 children per family against the 2.1 rate of Europe and America. See the following article on this subject: http://brie-hoffman.hubpages.com/hub/Muslim-World-how-muslims-will-take-over-the-world-via-population-growth Although this may be true, originally God’s intention is to cover the earth with His Glory, through godly and righteous families.
The first family serves as an example of the struggles of family too. When Adam’s children sacrificed to God, Abel’s sacrifice was approved but not Cain’s. He murdered his brother out of jealousy, anger and offense. (Gen 4:5-6) God’s answer to Cain is interesting: (v7) “If you do well, will you not be accepted? If you do not do well, sin crouches at your door, its desire is for you, but you must master it.” Cain’s heart was exposed by God rejection of his sacrifice. “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Gen 4:9) God is not interested in our sacrifices, but our mercy, readiness to help those who are in trouble. (Mat 9:13 AMPLIFIED) Family is the primary breeding ground for offenses to happen, when we master it, we will be able to master life.
Multiplying was the easy part, how to multiply spiritually and have the children walk in the precepts of the parents seems to be the difficult part.
The way God’s family is constituted is through faith and obedience. God called Abraham from the Chaldeans living in Ur, to become His family. (Gen 12:1; Rom 4:5) Abraham is the father of faith. (Rom 3:30; 4:1-2; 4:16; Heb 6:15) His name Abraham – Means Father of many nations. Essensially the story of the birth of a nation, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is a family story.
A Spiritual Family – Birthed by Supernatural means
Sarah, Rachel, and Rebekka all was barren, and God had to miraculously open their womb to be able to bare children. The Covenent blessing on Abraham since the beginning was towards a generational legacy of families. (Gen 12:1-3) None of their firstborn by blood received the covenant blessing. Abraham’s first born was Ismael. But Isaac born of Sarah received the promise. (Gen 17:18-21) Isaac’s firstborn was Essau, yet Jacob deceives his father and received the blessing. (Gen 27:20-29) Jacob’s first born was Rueben and did not received a blessing: “You will not excel” (Gen 48:3-4) Reuben’s immorality with his father’s concubine Bilhah (the mother of his brothers Dan and Naphtali) is recorded in Genesis 35:22. Joseph received the blessing born as the oldest son with Jacob’s wife Rachel. Yet later Benjamin received the tribal blessing. Joseph firstborn son was Manasseh yet Jacob crossed his hands and blessed Ephriam. (Gen 48:1-20)
The Jewish system of governance is called a Theocracy where God is the King. It was not God’s original plan that Isreal should have an earthly king. (1 Sam 8:1-21) Even when Samuel warned them of the consequenses: 19 Nevertheless the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel; and they said, “No, but we will have a king over us, 20 that we also may be like all the nations, and that our king may judge us and go out before us and fight our battles.” It was never God’s desire that His people be enslaved as subjects of a King. God’s plan is family!
When God apointed the first King of Isreal He chose the King in the way man would chose. … a mighty man of power. 2 And he had a choice and handsome son whose name was Saul. There was not a more handsome person than he among the children of Israel. From his shoulders upward he was taller than any of the people. (1 Sam 9:1-2) When Dawid was the youngest son of Jesse, and yet he received the appointment as the next king of Israel, because of his faith and relationship with God. . (1 Sam 16:13)
God wants us to be His children, people of faith, walking according to his statutes and will. This is why some people who would never have been accepted into the Kingdom are included because of their faith, like Boaz and Ruth, and their son Obed. Hagar the prostitute, who hid the Israelite Spies, and gave them a way of escape. The Bible story and history, is a story of faith heroes. (Heb 11)
God values family very highly. Family is God’s way of maturing us into adulthood. Physiologists and educators can list the negative effects of a broken family, absent parents, child abuse due to bad parental rolemodels and poor family structures. We can suppose that most of the social problems we experience today is because of a broken family unit. This is clearly evident studying the Kings. But not many leaders in the Bible succeeded to raise their kids in the fear of God. Eli the High Priest became vile because he did not restrain them (1 Sam 3:13) Samuel’s children also did not serve God. They turned aside after dishonest gain, took bribes, and perverted justice. Which speaks of a lack of godly character. (1 Sam 8:3)
Interesting that some of the rightous Kings in Judah, did not follow their own father’s legacy but chose to go back and follow in David’s footsteps. 2 And he did what was right in the sight of the Lord, and walked in all the ways of his father David; he did not turn aside to the right hand or to the left. (2 Kings 22:2) On there were Kings who did not consider the legacy they left for their Children, knowing that their own children would suffer the consequences of their father’s doings. So Hezekiah showed off all the riches of Judah to the son of King of Babylon and consequently received the damnation by the Prophet Isaiah that this very Kingdom will come and carry all this riches away. He was only so happy that the judgment will not happen in his lifetime. 19 So Hezekiah said to Isaiah, “The word of the Lord which you have spoken is good!” For he said, “Will there not be peace and truth at least in my days?” (2 Kings 20:15)
This very same attitude pertains to most Africans in African culture. They are more concerned with the dead, and their forefathers, than to try to make it easier for the immerging generation. In African culture the children is responsible for the parent. Paying huge sums for Lobola as a wedding gift to the father. In Western Culture the father pays the huge amount for the wedding. Both are extremes. God the father being our example how He raised Jesus into adulthood through dissipline and obedience to earthly parents, in a small close-knit community and when He was ready at the age of thirty release to him the powers of His Kingdom. The end-goal of God’s view of family is maturity. The husband should, like Christ, present his wife blameless and perfect to God, thus meaning mature. (Eph 5:27) This is mostly done by example and following, obeying and submitting to Jesus. Wives should instruct the younger, through wisdom, example, purity and reverence. (1 Tim 5:2; Tit 2:3)
The eternal Church God’s design for family.
The Church: The Spirit-filled community of salvation History – The church is the receiver and fulfilment of the Kingdom and the message of salvation. (Mat 16:18) Church is seen as a many membered active body of believers who each have an important role to play. (Rom 12:3-8; 2:19-22) Although leaders are important in the church, and should be respected (Heb 13:7-8, 17) the active ministry and participation of the church as a whole is imperative. The apostles do not see leaders above people, but among the people. Leading by example (Acts 18:3; 20:33–35) This is why the fivefold ministries are given, to equip the saints for their ministry. (Ephesians 4:11) Church is seen as one body, filled with one spirit, with one father, one baptism and one faith. (Eph 4:4-6)
God’s mold for Family is church. The word church (ecclesia) is made up of two root words: ek – out of and kaleo – called. Thus a direct translation of church would be His called out ones. But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a dedicated nation, [God’s] own purchased, special people, that you may set forth the wonderful deeds and display the virtues and perfections of Him Who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. (1 Pet 2:9)
 
Discerning the body of Christ
Our problem is not that there is to many churches, nor that we differ so much, but we do not discern one another as brothers of one family. (Eph 4:1-6) The Father determines the children. No one comes to the father if He doesn’t draw them. (Joh 6:44)
 
Our job is not to choose our family, but except the ones He has adopted into our family.
When Jesus came to the Earth He needed a body; today He still needs a body. (Heb 10:5) Of which He is the head. (Eph 1:22-23) There are different kind of bodies – the body both of men or animals – a dead body or corpse the living body of animals – the bodies of planets and of stars (heavenly bodies) – is used of a (large or small) number of men closely united into one society, or family as it were; a social, ethical, mystical body so in the NT of the church – a gathering of citizens called out from their homes into some public place, an assembly – an assembly of the people convened at the public place of the council for the purpose of deliberating the assembly of the Israelites – any gathering or throng of men assembled by chance, tumultuously in a Christian sense – an assembly of Christians gathered for worship in a religious meeting the assembly of faithful Christians already dead and received into heaven – a company of Christian, or of those who, hoping for eternal salvation through Jesus Christ, observe their own religious rites, hold their own religious meetings, and manage their own affairs, according to regulations prescribed for the body for order’s sake – those who anywhere, in a city, village, constitute such a company and are united into one bod – the whole body of Christians scattered throughout the earth.
In summery then we can say that there are various expressions of the Body of Christ. Small groups, house churches, large gatherings, ministries towards a specific need, whenever we actually get together in His name He manifest Himself amongst us. (Mat 18:20) It is thus important that we do not neglect these meetings. (Heb 10:25)
Question: Can I be a Christian without joining the church?
Answer: Yes, it is possible. It is something like being:
A student who will not go to school.
A soldier who will not join an army.
A citizen who does not pay taxes or vote.
A salesman with no customers.
An explorer with no base camp.
A seaman on a ship without a crew.
A businessman on a deserted island.
An author without readers.
A tuba player without an orchestra.
A parent without a family.
A football player without a team.
A politician who is a hermit.
A scientist who does not share his findings.
A bee without a hive.
Everyone knows about the old codger who lives to be 100 and cavalierly attributes his longevity to booze, black cigars, beautiful women-and never going to church. According to Dr. George W. Comstock of Johns Hopkins School of Hygiene and Public Health, that kind of impious longevity may be the exception, not the rule. In studies of the relation of socioeconomic factors to disease in the population of Washington County, Md., Comstock and his colleagues made an incidental but fascinating discovery. Regular churchgoing, and the clean living that often goes with it, appear to help people avoid a whole bagful of dire ailments and disasters. Among them: heart disease, cirrhosis of the liver, tuberculosis, cancer of the cervix, chronic bronchitis, fatal one-car accidents and suicides. The most significant finding was that people who go to church regularly have less arteriosclerotic heart disease. The annual death rate from such disease was about 500 for every 100,000 persons among weekly churchgoers, nearly 900 per 100,000 among “less than weekly” attendees. As for bronchitis, Comstock is at a loss to explain the relationship. (Maybe all that hymn singing helps clear the tubes. ) In any case, he has a name-or at least a nickname-for the whole phenomenon, which he humorously calls the “Leo Durocher” syndrome. “Nice guys,” concludes the good doctor, “do seem to finish last.”
Physician Steward Wolf in Roseta Pennsylvania has discovered this same phenomenon. This little community is a copycat mirror-image of the original Hometown in Italy, the street names, building style, and business names are all the same, even the very unique Italian dialect. The power of this unique community lies in their sense of family. Children grow up without fear of finding a job, for somewhere in the community someone will take you in. Up to three generations lived in one home. They visited one another regularly, cooking for one-another. They had a strong base of the extended family arranged naturally in clans. The have huge gatherings of eating and feasting together. They look out for another, and have a sense of responsibility and accountability to the greater whole. The end result? They have a very low rate of any heart decease. It is not the food they eat, that effect this result, rather it is the way they operate as a family. (From Outliers Pg 3-11, Malcolm Gladwell) In this book Gladwell actually proofs that our individual genius, is never because of our own ability. It is the people’s abilities around us that makes us great!
For the sake of family
“For the sake of family” is often heard. The needs of the family is more important that that of my own. In the African context this emphasis can also be abused, where it becomes impossible to rise above the cultural downforce of the community. In the west we have a too high emphasis on the individual, in the east the individual disappear in the whole. In the biblical context, God chose a man, and effects the group through that man. So it is not what man wills, or what the group wills, but what God wills. Both man and group ought to submit to the will, and way of God.

  • Our suffering is for the sake of the church, see Paul’s example. Colossians 1:24 I now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up in my flesh what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ, for the sake of His body, which is the church.  When you receive public correction, receive it for the sake of the others present, so that all can learn and fear.  (1 Tim 5:20)
  • The operation of the gifts of the spirit is not for the benefit of self, but for the building up of the body.  (1 Cor 14:12).
  • We give up our own family for the sake of the Kingdom family. (Luk 18:29)
  • Jesus prays for his disciples, but also for the following generation that will come. (Joh 17:20-21)
  • Paul is torn between the desire to be with the Lord, yet for the sake of the church he remains. (Phil 1:23-24)

Often in the OT whole generations is removed by God, to cherish and protect the lineage of faith and obedience. This is also why God hates divorce. (Mal 2:15) God is seeking a godly offspring! There is no greater attack against the child’s future faith in God, than when their parents divorce. On the other hand, there will be much less divorces if we remain faithful for the sake of family!
Becoming part of God’s family.
We need to be part of a church, right! Yes! But being part of the right body is vital! In studying Kings and chronicles we soon discover the power of leadership, and how it influenced the prosperity of the people. This is how God has made us as humans, we follow naturally after leadership. Therefor the strict warning in James 3:1 My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. The following verses in chapter 3 of James deal with the power of the tongue, how it steers the ship. I believe leaders determine the direction, and measure of maturity in a local church. You cannot belong to a local church and really grow beyond the level of the local leadership’s growth, without being very frustrated.
We all desire to be led. We need leaders. We hate them or love them, but we do not want their job. Life is hard, and getting by with all the daily chores is not always easy. Thus we do not want to make the big decisions, we do not want that responsibility. Some of us however, are made exactly for that purpose; we thrive on these difficult challenges. This is how God has made us. Some people like to lead and some follow. Moreover we should be able to balance leadership and submitting like breathing, for leaders who cannot submit suffocate their people, and people who never take initiative frustrate leaders. We all must learn a measure of leadership, and submitting in all areas of life.
On regards to big groups of people, we need godly leaders. This is the message of Kings & Chronicles, how did man fare with God not being their king, but man? When the Kings served and obeyed God’s commands and will the people prospered. When the King made himself God, and had the people obey him, they entered destruction.
Who do you chose to follow and why?
The people of Israel sought a righteous King, and followed Jerobeam. This generation of people of Israel ended 19 kings later being scattered all over the world. In 400 years none of these Kings served or obeyed God. Jerobeam created his own counterfeit religion, temples and priesthood. The people, who remained faithful to God’s word and promise to David, saw 8 Kings serving God, and the birth of the Messiah.
Some people followed Moses, but others were easily swayed to follow Aaron and Mirriam, who began to question Moses Leadership. Num 12:1-4 There was many occurrences of such rebellion under Moses Leadership.
Following a Reformer.
The Biblical criteria we should use to determine who we ought to follow are:

  1. Do they have a personal relationship with God?
  2. Do they have a prophetic mandate to lead?
  3. Do they seek to keep reforming according to the standard of God’s Word? Do they obey the Word?
  4. Does their personal life line up with the word?
  5. Do they keep to the original mandate?

Discipleship in family context
Whenever we conduct church outside of the parameters of family, we enter into trouble and eventually in error. Family is eternal. You cannot resign from a family. You cannot leave your house. You eternally belong. Even your earthy family has this power over you, you can change your name, but in DNA and genetics you’re still connected. This is how God intended family to be. We changed His order.
The fact that we go in and out, connect and leave is at the root of why some of our evangelism efforts are failing. Jesus did not only preach to the crowds, He made family, taking His disciples with Him. We preach and leave, not willing to lay down our lives for a community, to become fathers and older brothers that will lead them out of darkness into his marvelous light. (1 Pet 2:9) The true heart of the apostolic is thus to be fathers to the churches. (Gal 4:19; 1 Cor 4:15; ). The context of the true church is also set, within the context of family. How can you take care of His church, when your own family is ruins? (1 Tim 3:5) Church history is full of stories where leaders forsake their own families, and it lead to all kinds of error and misconduct.
God’s protection plan for ministry is family! Getting to busy for family, then you’re too busy for God. Whenever we neglect family and move without the unity of family we are in danger. Again God’s design for family is not just about being a family by name of bloodline, but to experience the same unity that exist in the Godhead. When a family serves God together, obey God, and live for His glory it makes things easy and natural. We do not have to find unnatural means to protect and care, grow or empower. It all happens naturally without even paying attention to it. He works is through all the various dynamics within family. Our only job should be to preserve the Unity!
At the end we all have to give up our own cultures, and traditions. We need to be reformed in our religion,
until He becomes the sum-total of all things. Until we mature into His image.
The negative of family
Like everything God gave as a provision the enemy distorts into a curse. So also a family without God becomes a stronghold, a satanic confederacy against the purposes of God. Families carry from one generation to the next the disobedience of the one generation to the next. Ungodly traditions of man are not questioned but obeyed blindly. This is why we need reform. We need to a systematic relentless determination to keep on allowing God to reform our thinking through the Spirit and the Word.
The Blessing of a spiritual family.
It is much easier to pray with someone than praying alone, do evangelism together than doing it alone, praising God together than singing by yourself. Corporate anointing makes serving God easier. It is our own ego and self centered nature that seeks to be separate, be different, unique, following my way, seeking my own new path. It is humbling to follow, to first take directions from men who aren’t perfect. Jesus did this for 90% of his entire life. Obeying earthly parents. How do you want to obey God, if you cannot obey your parents, your boss, the law? Surely we need to be alone at times; Jesus also made time for being alone with God, in order to be ready to engage with man in a godly manner.
The Three Chair principle – the power of experience
In conclusion we need to look into the generational regression effect. Like I have shown in the beginning of this chapter, not many fathers were able to translate their anointing and zeal for God to the next generation.
David served God with all his heart, and was called a friend of God. Yet although Solomon did serve God initially he eventually compromised and lost his way. His son Rehabeam did not serve God at all. We see the same progression with Josua. Me and my house will serve God. (Jos 14:15) The next generation of Elders also served God (Jos 24:31; Judg 1:7) consequently the next generation did evil in the sight of the Lord and did not even enquire from Him anymore. (Judg 1:10)
Bruce Wilkerson writes about this phenomenon in much detail in his book. “The three chairs Principle”
The question is: Where did David fail to kindle the same kind of zeal for God he possessed, to Solomon? There are surely many answers, like his lack of discipline, not spending enough time with his children etc.
I believe that the most important aspect that we should remember about the next generation, is what this whole blog is about. God’s family is supernaturally reproduced.
In God’s family there can be No Spectators!
Conditions to enter His Kingdom and Family
Luk 17:20 pharasees “the kingdom does not come with observation”
Acts 14:22 We must through many tribulations enter the Kingdom
Joh 3:3 Unless you born again you will not see the kingdom
Luk 18:29 Give up family for the sake of the kingdom of God
Luk 6:20 Blessed are the poor for yours is the Kingdom of God
Luk 18:24 Hard for the rich to enter
Mat 5:20 except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven
Matthew 7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven but he who does the will of God.
No matter how you receive the Word (Voice) of God, whether through Bible study, some supernatural experience, visions, dreams, or encounters it all boils down into one thing – Doing it! Obedience to the will, voice, and instructions of God is the key to Kingdom living!
First hand encounters from the tree of Life, instead of eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. The NT way of the spirit to transfer knowledge is through impartation – not through words only but through power. (1 Cor 4:20) It is form this first-hand basis that the apostles conducted their ministry. (1 Joh 1:1) We have seen with our own eyes, hearing with our own ears.
There is no other way. Jesus is the door. You have to go through Him personally, by surrendering your life to Him. (Mat 16:24) No one can do it for you. Your parents can show you the way, by example and teaching but you have to go in and experience Him yourself.

Categories
Sermons

The Power of Two

The Power of Two

The Power of two.
What is the Power that makes some partnership flourish, creating a collective genius far surpassing the genius of one?
That question lies at the heart of Joshua Wolf Shenk’s new book out this week, Powers of Two: Finding the Essence of Innovation in Creative Pairs, in which, drawing on academic research, historical evidence, and original reportage, he explores what makes creative partnerships tick, from a foundation of trust to a spark that ignites when two people are “as alike as identical twins and as unalike as complete strangers.”
All of us have experienced creative connection, and glimpsed its power. Yet, for centuries, the myth of the lone genius has obscured the critical story of the power of collaboration. In Powers of Two, Joshua Wolf Shenk argues that creative pairs are the exemplars for innovation. Drawing on years of research on great partnerships in history – from Lennon and McCartney to Marie and Pierre Curie, plus hundreds more in fields including literature, popular culture, art and business – Shenk identifies the common journey pairs take from the spark of initial connection, through the passage to a cognitive ‘joint identity” to competition and the struggle for power. Using scientific and psychological insights, he uncovers new truths about epic duos – and sheds new light on the genesis of some of the greatest creative work in history. He reveals hidden partnerships among people known only for their individual work (like C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien), and even ‘adversarial collaborations’ among those who are out to beat each other. This revelatory and lyrical book will make us see creative exchange as the central terrain of our psyches.
More example in our time is:
Bill Gates & Paul Allen (colleagues; business partners) Founders of Microsoft Corporation
Founders Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak created Apple Computer on April 1, 1976,
Frodo Baggins & Sam Gamgee (fictional; companions in the Lord of the Ring trilogy)
Biblical Examples are:
Gen 2:25 Adam and eve
Jos 2:1 The Two Spies
Zech 4:14 Two anointed ones (King & Priest Partnership)
2 Sam 20:34; & Sam 1:25-26 David & Jonathan
Jesus send the disciples two by two (Luk 10:1)
According the wisdom of the Preacher “two ae better than one” Eccl 4:9-12
What are the hindrances to a healthy partnership.
1) Lack of honour – Jesus exist to glorify the Father, our accurate deeds in frequency with the Father’s will glorify Him. We honour God with our lives when we accurately represent Him. Our lives, testimony, fruit, accomplishments, and success, is because we listened and obeyed His instruction, utilizing His wisdom, applying his power… The fruit glorifies the source. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:16) We show honor in the way we involve and value our partner. Not informing one another of important decisions, and not including the other is a show of disrespect.
2) Desire to control, and Ego. Wanting to remain in control and have the last say, stifles the creativity in a relationship. A team works well together when both get’s the opportunity to lead. Working together is like dancing, mutual submission, and willingness to be led.
3) Losing Unity as always being the first point on the Agenda. Our point of departure is always unity first. No matter the grudge, the mistake or the problem it remains OUR problem, we face it together. We solve things together. We think team all the time.
4) Poor confrontation skills and results. Confrontation is healthy, if done the correct way. We all need to improve our correction skills, being mature enough to agree to disagree. Dealing with all our defense meganisme and bad habits in terms of reaction to correction paves the way to a strong relationship. We can grow, through our differences.
5) Not defining and understanding different roles. Healthy partners know their individual roles and gifts they add to the friendship. Both know their weakness and strengths and how to use the strengths to each other’s benefit. Defining the different roles and job description helps to establish synergy.
6) Having two visions, or goals. – division. Two visions will eventually break and destroy the partnership. It is the common agreement that holds the partnership together. We do not create unity we preserve it! Keep to the original vision, and both must be in agreement when the goalposts change.
7) Lack of Execution – physical work done, completed for the other. Not keeping your word, on what is agreed, will end the partnership. Both need to be responsible and show integrity to complete tasks, and fulfill obligations. This is the most basic foundation of any partnership. Not getting things done, and not fulfilling your end of the bargain destroys trust.

Categories
Hartklop

The Power of Two

The Power of two.
What is the Power that makes some partnership flourish, creating a collective genius far surpassing the genius of one?
That question lies at the heart of Joshua Wolf Shenk’s new book out this week, Powers of Two: Finding the Essence of Innovation in Creative Pairs, in which, drawing on academic research, historical evidence, and original reportage, he explores what makes creative partnerships tick, from a foundation of trust to a spark that ignites when two people are “as alike as identical twins and as unalike as complete strangers.”
All of us have experienced creative connection, and glimpsed its power. Yet, for centuries, the myth of the lone genius has obscured the critical story of the power of collaboration. In Powers of Two, Joshua Wolf Shenk argues that creative pairs are the exemplars for innovation. Drawing on years of research on great partnerships in history – from Lennon and McCartney to Marie and Pierre Curie, plus hundreds more in fields including literature, popular culture, art and business – Shenk identifies the common journey pairs take from the spark of initial connection, through the passage to a cognitive ‘joint identity” to competition and the struggle for power. Using scientific and psychological insights, he uncovers new truths about epic duos – and sheds new light on the genesis of some of the greatest creative work in history. He reveals hidden partnerships among people known only for their individual work (like C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien), and even ‘adversarial collaborations’ among those who are out to beat each other. This revelatory and lyrical book will make us see creative exchange as the central terrain of our psyches.
More example in our time is:
Bill Gates & Paul Allen (colleagues; business partners) Founders of Microsoft Corporation
Founders Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak created Apple Computer on April 1, 1976,
Frodo Baggins & Sam Gamgee (fictional; companions in the Lord of the Ring trilogy)
Biblical Examples are:
Gen 2:25 Adam and eve
Jos 2:1 The Two Spies
Zech 4:14 Two anointed ones (King & Priest Partnership)
2 Sam 20:34; & Sam 1:25-26 David & Jonathan
Jesus send the disciples two by two (Luk 10:1)
According the wisdom of the Preacher “two ae better than one” Eccl 4:9-12
What are the hindrances to a healthy partnership.
1) Lack of honour – Jesus exist to glorify the Father, our accurate deeds in frequency with the Father’s will glorify Him. We honour God with our lives when we accurately represent Him. Our lives, testimony, fruit, accomplishments, and success, is because we listened and obeyed His instruction, utilizing His wisdom, applying his power… The fruit glorifies the source. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and  glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:16) We show honor in the way we involve and value our partner. Not informing one another of important decisions, and not including the other is a show of disrespect.
2) Desire to control, and Ego. Wanting to remain in control and have the last say, stifles the creativity in a relationship.  A team works well together when both get’s the opportunity to lead.  Working together is like dancing, mutual submission, and willingness to be led.
3) Losing Unity as always being the first point on the Agenda. Our point of departure is always unity first.  No matter the grudge, the mistake or the problem it remains OUR problem, we face it together.  We solve things together.  We think team all the time.
4) Poor confrontation skills and results. Confrontation is healthy, if done the correct way.  We all need to improve our correction skills, being mature enough to agree to disagree.  Dealing with all our defense meganisme and bad habits in terms of reaction to correction paves the way to a strong relationship.  We can grow, through our differences.
5) Not defining and understanding different roles. Healthy partners know their individual roles and gifts they add to the friendship. Both know their weakness and strengths and how to use the strengths to each other’s benefit.  Defining the different roles and job description helps to establish synergy.
6) Having two visions, or goals. – division.  Two visions will eventually break and destroy the partnership.  It is the common agreement that holds the partnership together.  We do not create unity we preserve it! Keep to the original vision, and both must be in agreement when the goalposts change.
7) Lack of Execution – physical work done, completed for the other. Not keeping your word, on what is agreed, will end the partnership.  Both need to be responsible and show integrity to complete tasks, and fulfill obligations.  This is the most basic foundation of any partnership.  Not getting things done, and not fulfilling your end of the bargain destroys trust.

Categories
Blogs

Mag die Kerk Oordeel?

Mag die Kerk Oordeel?

Oordeel word meestal in ʼn negatiewe lig gesien. Ons konnotasie met die woord bring ander woorde tot ons gedagtes soos: finaliteit, verwerping, afskryf, verwydering, straf en hel. Ons weet ook dat ons dit nie moet doen nie… maar tog doen ons almal dit selfs sonder dat ons weet. Skinder is ʼn vorm van oordeel, want ek het alreeds ʼn waarheid/oordeel oor iemand gevorm sonder dat die persoon ooit die geleentheid gekry het om hulleself te verdedig. Broeders, moenie van mekaar kwaad spreek nie. Die wat kwaad spreek van sy broeder en sy broeder oordeel, spreek kwaad van die wet en oordeel die wet; en as jy die wet oordeel, is jy nie ‘n dader van die wet nie, maar ‘n regter. (Jakobus 4:11)
Die wat daarvoor veg om nie te oordeel nie, oordeel die wat oordeel.
Die grootste rede hoekom die kerk sy stem verloor het om ʼn morele kompas vir die Wêreld te wees, is omdat ons nie eenstemmigheid het oor dissipline en oordeel nie. Ouers verloor ook op dieselfde wyse hulle gesag met hulle kinders wanneer die een sag is en die ander hard, en later met mekaar baklei oor die dissipline proses. Dit verwar die kind. Tog is die skrif duidelik oor die saak: Ons moet net eers ons eie voorbehoude en opinies uit die weg ruim. Soms is ons negatiewe perspektief oor dissipline ons eie subjektiewe seerkry ervarings waaroor ons nog nie genesing gekry het nie.
Maar wat is oordeel nou eintlik?

Uiteindelik is ons aardse oordeel net ʼn beoordeling en nie ware oordeel nie. Uiteindelik is God die enigste een wat oor ons almal gaan oordeel. Maar ek kies om God se oordele in my lewe nie te verontagsaam nie. (Ps 119: 4, 15, 27, 40, 45, 56, 63, 69, 104, 128, 134, 173) Eerder nou geoordeel word terwyl ons almal nog ʼn kans het om reg te maak, as die ewige oordeel, en ewige straf. Geen straf is sonder ʼn mate van oordeel nie. Daarom voel die persoon veroordeel. Oordeel en straf is onlosmaaklik deel van mekaar. ʼn Ouer wat sy kind die heeltyd waarsku maar nooit sover kom om sy kind te straf nie, verloor gesag in daardie kind se lewe.
Die kerk se straf en oordeel is die van ʼn mens en tydelik. Wanneer God finaal straf is daar geen uitkomkans nie . Dan is daar nie meer kans vir bekering nie. Menslike straf is altyd met die hoop op herstel en bekering! Wanneer die hele Christenkerk in eenheid kan kom met God se prosesse in ons lewens, kan ons meewerk tot genesing en herstel.
Dink gou aan die volgende scenario: Jou beste vriend kom vertel jou in die geheim, en neem jou in sy vertroue dat hy op pad is om moord te pleeg. Hoe sal jy dit hanteer? Gaan jy hom paai, en met hom barmhartig wees? Gaan jy sy sonde toe maak? Of gaan jy bereid wees om ʼn vriend te verloor om ʼn lewe te red? Hoe ondersteun jy ʼn vermeende moordenaar sonder om ʼn medepligtige te word? Hoekom breek jy kontak; hoekom gee jy jou vriend oor aan die gereg? Want uiteindelik wil jy hom/haar red van doodstraf en ook die persoon wat hy/sy wil vermoor.
Die kwessie is nie óf ons moet oordeel nie, maar hoe ons moet oordeel. Daar is net twee tipes oordeel: Regte oordeel en verkeerde oordeel. Om iemand te oordeel sonder dat jy al die feite het, betrokke is in die saak, en eerstehands getuienis het is soos om jouself regter oor ʼn saak te maak en die saak het nooit voorgekom nie. Regte oordeel is wanneer ons ʼn saak
en persoon direk konfronteer en na ʼn proses tot ʼn beslissing kom.
Verkeerde oordeel kom voor wanneer ons:

  • Iemand anders se gesag en hantering oordeel wat nie aan ons gegee is nie. Soos om ʼn pa wat sy kind straf te oordeel , bloot omdat ek nie van dissipline hou nie. Jy is nie betrokke in die verhouding en geskiedenis van ʼn saak nie. Paulus verduidelik dat ons nie iemand anders se hantering van sy dienskneg kan oordeel nie. (Rom 14:4) Kerke is soos gesinne en families, wanneer ʼn sekere kerk een van sy familie lede korrigeer en aanspreek, moet ander kerke die proses respekteer. Wanneer ons iemand wat onder dissipline is jammer kry, en simpatiseer misken ons die agent wat verandering en redding in daardie persoon se lewe moet bring. Dan begin die oortreder fokus op die sogenaamde verkeerde strafproses sonder om te deel met die oorsaak van die straf. Soos ʼn ma kan so ʼn persoon liefde wys, maar nie die straf in twyfel trek nie, eerder dit versterk en met sagtheid die persoon lei om hulle fout raak te sien. As almal saamwerk in die strafproses, is daar nie dubbelstandaarde en onsekerheid nie. Elkeen kan op verskillende wyses hulle onderskeie gawes gebruik om so ʼn persoon te help om tot hulle sinne te kom. Die Herder troos, maar is ferm om nie op die pak te fokus nie maar om die oorsprong van die sonde te vind. Die profeet vermaan van komende oordeel. Die apostel spreek saak direk aan, denkende aan die invloed wat sonde op die groter liggaam het. Die evangelis wys daarop dat so ʼn persoon hul invloed as getuie verloor. Die leraar wys op die skrifte en God se hart en hantering van die saak. Indien elkeen hulle rol in die restourasie proses verstaan, is die kans dat so ʼn persoon gered kan word mos soveel groter. (En aan sommige wat twyfel, moet julle barmhartigheid bewys; 23 maar ander moet julle met vrees red deur hulle uit die vuur te ruk; en ook die kleed moet julle haat wat deur sonde bevlek is.” (Jud 21-23)
  • Jy iemand vanuit ʼn toeskouer rol oordeel, veroordeel en straf toepas. Jy moet betrokke wees, en as te ware lisensie/gesag/aangestel/mandaat hê om te oordeel. Is die saak aan jou gegee? Almal het ʼn opinie oor ʼn saak, maar Bybelse oordeel soek altyd een uitkoms : Redding! Selfs toe Paulus die sonde van ʼn gemeentelid in Korinte oordeel was dit met dié doel in gedagte: “om so iemand aan die Satan oor te lewer tot verderf van die vlees, SODAT DIE GEES GERED KAN WORD IN DIE DAG VAN DIE HERE JESUS.” (1 Kor 5:5) Soos ʼn pa sy kind straf en ʼn pakslae gee om hom te red van onheil, so word oordeel gebruik as ʼn laaste uitweg om iemand tot sy/haar sinne te bring. Dit is vir die ouer geensins aangenaam om sy/haar kind te straf nie, inteendeel dis soms traumaties. Maar juis omdat ons, ons kinders lief het, en wil voorkom dat hulle in dwaasheid en in rebellie tot hul einde kom straf ons, ons kinders. (Heb 12:5-11) Dis tog algemene professionele praktyk, om nie mekaar se sake te bespreek en opinies daaroor te lewer alvorens ek nie aangestel is en al die feite voor my het nie.
  • Jy oordeel sonder dat jy die Bybelse pad met iemand gestap het. “EN as jou broeder teen jou sondig, gaan bestraf hom tussen jou en hom alleen. As hy na jou luister, dan het jy jou broeder gewin; 16 maar as hy nie luister nie, neem nog een of twee met jou saam, sodat in die mond van twee of drie getuies elke woord kan vasstaan. 17 En as hy na hulle nie luister nie, sê dit aan die gemeente; en as hy na die gemeente ook nie luister nie, laat hom vir jou wees soos die heiden en die tollenaar. (Mat 18:15-17) Vinnige oordeel is nooit goed nie, gee dit tyd en stap die pad van dissipline uit. Die uitsondering is wanneer mens regtig deur die Heilige Gees gelei word soos toe Paulus die Waarsêer Gees in ‘n vrou bestraf het. (Hand 16:18) Maar dit het tot haar vrymaking gelei. Jy beplan dit nie, en die saak wat jy oordeel het niks met jou as persoon te make nie. Dis die Heilige Gees wat deur jou werk om orde in die kerk te bring. (1 Tim 5:20; 4:2; Tit 1:13; 2:15) Wanneer jy iemand bestraf (rebuke) is dit ook korrek, omdat dit direkte konfrontasie is. Jesus se styl van bediening was direk, nooit met ompaadtjies, en mooi praatjies nie. Ek glo dat as ons self-verwoestende gedrag direk reguit konfronteer en sake reguit met mekaar uitpraat daar baie meer vrede in die huis van die Here wees. “Pas op vir julleself. En as jou broeder teen jou sondig, bestraf hom; en as hy berou kry, vergewe hom.” (Luk 17:3) Ons is soms so bang vir konflik en om iemand te na te kom, dat ons nie besef dat ons stilswye op die einde baie meer skade veroorsaak nie.
  • Jou oordeel nie waar en regverdig is nie. Lees Mat 23:1-31 Jesus spreek Hom uit teen die Fariseërs en Skrifgeleerdes. Hy maak baie kras en harde uitsprake: “Wee julle, skrifgeleerdes en Fariseërs, geveinsdes, blinde leiers, dwase, gewitte grafte, slange addergeslag!” Die feit is: Dit is die waarheid. Jesus voeg nie by, of oordryf nie. Hy sê dit presies soos dit is. Hy maak ook nie die oordeel as reaksie uit bitterheid of omdat hulle Hom nie ontvang nie. Enige kind ontvang sy pak wanneer Hy weet hy/sy was verkeerd. Wanneer hulle egter onregverdig of onskuldig gestraf word, maak dit hulle opstandig. Daarom is dit so belangrik om nie te vinnig ʼn oordeel te vel nie. Kry eers al die inligting ter sake, alvorens jy oordeel en konfronteer. Wanneer jy iemand konfronteer werk net met eerstehandse inligting en dit wat die Heilige Gees aan jou openbaar.
    Om nie regte oordeel toe te pas nie het konsekwensies:

    Sou ons as kerk nie die sonde in ons midde oordeel en hanteer nie, word die hele gemeente uiteindelik besoedel met die sonde. “Julle roem is nie mooi nie. Weet julle nie dat ‘n bietjie suurdeeg die hele deeg suur maak nie?” (1 Kor 5:6)
    Die laaste uitweg wat niemand graag wil doen nie:

    Om iemand vir wie jy eens lief was te vermy, en die verhouding te breek oor sonde is geen maklike taak nie. Hierdie hantering van verkeerd druis regstreeks in teen populêre opinie en die gees van die wêreld. Tog is dissiplinêre optrede alledaags in die werksplek. Wat laat ons dink dat dissipline nie ook in die kerk geld nie? Toe priesters hulle skuldig gemaak het aan seksuele misdrywe, wou ons nie graag hê dat daar opgetree word teen hierdie individue nie? Die oordeel hoef nie in gevangenisstraf te eindig nie, maar die verkeerd moet aangespreek en hanteer word.
    Die Bybel is baie duidelik dat ons mense wat hulle skuldig maak aan die volgende oortredings uit ons gemeenskap moet verwyder; hulle soos heidene moet behandel, nie met hulle moet kuier of eet nie.
    1 Kor 5:11-13: hoereerders, gierigaards of rowers of afgodedienaars.
    Rom 16:17: tweedrag en aanstoot veroorsaak teen die leer wat julle geleer het,
    Tit 3:10-11: ‘n man wat partyskap verwek,
    2 Tes 3:6: wat onordelik wandel en nie volgens die oorlewering wat hy van ons ontvang het nie.
    2 Tes 3:14-15: iemand aan ons woord in hierdie brief nie gehoorsaam is nie,
    1 Tim 6:3-5: 3 AS iemand iets anders leer en nie instem met die gesonde woorde van onse Here Jesus Christus en met die leer wat volgens die godsaligheid is nie,
    Tit 1:10-11: wat tugteloos is, wat onsin praat en verleiers is,
    Soos met enige vorm van straf is daar bitter min mense wat hulle sonde onmiddellik erken en bereid is om dit reguit en eerlik in die oë te kyk en ʼn pad van restourasie te soek.
    Tog is dit die enigste pad. Hoeveel huwelike het misluk en die partye het nog steeds nie ʼn benul oor wat verkeerd gegaan het nie. So stap ons met ons foute en tekortkominge van die een verhouding na die ander. Daar vind nie groei plaas nie, want ons regverdig ons verkeerd, ons verskuif die blaam, en ons is nie eerlik met onsself nie.
    Wanneer die kerk iemand tugtig is daar vele uitroepe wat sê: Wie is julle om te oordeel, het julle nie ook sonde nie. Is alle sonde nie dieselfde nie? Daar is ʼn reuse verskil tussen mense wat deur die geloof en Sy genade deurentyd wegstap van sonde, en diegene wat doelbewus en vasberade hulle oorgee aan sonde. Al het ons die grootste moontlike sonde gedoen, ons kan met ons sonde na die troon van genade kom en vergifnis ontvang. (Heb 4:14-16) As ons sonde bely is Hy getrou… om ons te vergewe (1 Pet 1:9) Vir die vrou wat op heterdaad in haar sonde gevang was, was daar genade. Jesus se Woord: “Gaan en sondig nie meer nie” was haar uitkomskaart na ʼn nuwe lewe. Sou sy egter nie gehoor gee, en terugdraai na sonde, sal sy nie van oordeel ontkom nie. Wanneer ons as kerk sonde oordeel sê ons nie ons is sonder sonde nie. Inteendeel die lig van God skyn tydens oordeel op almal se harte, en buig ons almal ons harte na die Here om ons te ondersoek. Ons tree nie uit hoogmoed op en oordeel nie. Ons verneder onsself voor die Here en laat juis toe dat Hy ons was. Inderwaarheid staan ons almal onder die Here se oordeel. Die kerk is net die Here se stem.
    Is dit dan nie die kerk se verantwoordelikheid om mense te vertel van God se genade EN oordeel nie. Ons sal mos nie die waarheid praat as ons net die een kant verkondig en swyg oor die ander nie?
    Jesus waarsku die fariseër van komende oordeel oor hulle valsheid. (Mat 23:14) Laster teen die heilige Gees sal nie vergewe word nie. (Mar 3:29) Dit sal draagliker wees vir Tirus en Sidon as vir die wat Hom nie ontvang het nie in die oordeelsdag. (Luk 10:14) En dit is die oordeel: dat die lig in die wêreld gekom het, en die mense het die duisternis liewer gehad as die lig; want hulle werke was boos. 20 Want elkeen wat kwaad doen, haat die lig en kom nie na die lig nie, dat sy werke nie bestraf mag word nie. 21 Maar hy wat die waarheid doen, kom na die lig, sodat sy werke openbaar kan word, dat hulle in God gedoen is. Die wat glo en doen sal die oordeel vryspring wat kom oor die hele aarde (Joh 5:24)
    Die Voordele om Dissipline en korreksie te ontvang:

    (Gal 6:1) Oordeel herstel in ʼn groot mate die vrees van die Here in ʼn huis. Net soos met enige familie: wanneer pa ʼn sekere kind straf, bring dit orde in die hele huis. Almal is sommer meer bewus van reg doen en reg leef. Paulus vertel dat hy sekere dinge gelei het ter wille van die liggaam. (Kol 1:24) Soms is een se korreksie ʼn geleentheid vir die wat nog wik en weeg om tot inkeer te kom. Daarom moet sekere sonde oop gemaak word, soos Dawid se owerspel, sodat ons vandag nog kan leer uit sy foute.
    Wanneer mens korreksie ontvang bespoedig dit die prosesse van God in jou lewe. Ons kan nie onsself verander nie, een van God se agente van verandering is korreksie (Heb 12:8) deur dit te weier en aan te hou om jouself te regverdig kan die verandering wat in jou nodig is nie plaasvind nie. (Heb 12:8) Jou smaak bly dieselfde (Jer 48 :11) God het ons genesing en herstel, restourasie in gedagte, sodat ons uiteindelike volkome in Christus sal wees en Hy volkome in ons. (Kol 1:27)
    Nog nooit was ons meer in gebed, meer voor die Here se lig en oë op ons lewens nie. Almal se harte word ontbloot by die straf van sonde. Mag die Here ons almal genadig wees en skenk dat ons goddelike berou sal ontvang en draai van dit wat sleg en verkeerd is. (2 Kor 7:7-10)
    Vrede en Genade in Christus !
    Jan Oosthuizen
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When Love is not enough

Please read (Mat 7:15-23)
We so often say we love You Lord, but do they really? It is so easy to sing along songs in church about how much we love Him, but do we obey Him? Jesus’ love for the Father was tested, when He endured the most difficult burden of our sins and death saying: “Not My will be done, but thine!”
There are so many things in my life, that I know God wants me to do, but I never get around doing it. My spouse asked me to do something in the house ages ago, and I simply never do it. The Church made and appeal, and I felt that God wants me to respond, but I never did it.
Are we not singing too many love-songs in church, and doing too little? When we are asked to labor and come and work in church, like attending the prayer meetings, visiting the poor, praying for people at work. We just never get around to do it, with a long list of excuses.
God is not looking for obedience grounded in a slave mentality. He wants us to want to obey. Obedience should come naturally. There is nothing so offending when my spouse makes it clear that they did something out of obedience and I should take note that it was not easy, and that actually they did not want to do it. Love says: you should have wanted to do it for me, because you love me!
When people commit sin, adultery, deceit, selfish ambition, selfishness I cannot but question their love for God. Even more, I question their experiential knowledge of the Love of God.
No one filled with the love of God, can continue in sin.
We should focus more on trying to understand and come to see for ourselves the width, depth, and height of His love. (Eph 3:16-19) His love is what heals us. His love quench the hunger of your deepest desires. His love completes every yearning and longing you have in your heart. His love restores all the heartbreak. It is in seeing His love that we understand that all our desires were actually seeking Him. No husband or wife, no children, no perfect job, no conquest of any kind, can permanently fill and satisfy your desires like God. He is the author of Love. He is love! There is no true love without Him.
Let us study this passage closely in Matthew 7.
In vers 15 we are warned of false teachers. Ravenous wolves! How will you be able to discern them? By their fruits. Meaning the stuff they do! How they live, their attitude, values, habits and actions will prove whether they are true or not. In vers 17-19 Jesus explains that fruit bearing is a natural process. No matter how hard a citrus tree will strive to bear bananas, it cannot. You bear naturally according to your DNA. This is why our natures needs to be transformed by God. We need to be born again. (Joh 3:3-5; 1 Pet 1:21; 2 Cor 5:17) When we are changed from the inside we will naturally bear His fruit. (Gal 5:21-22) The opposite list mentioned in Galatians 5, is called “works” of the flesh. You cannot work godliness from the flesh. These people have a show of godliness but lacking the power. (2 Tim 3:5) When God transforms us from within, He becomes the means and power towards Godliness. He works His grace in us to do according to His will. (Phil 2:13)
Someone who is still struggling with sin, has not yet received this power. This is how you know that you walk in His grace. You overcome sin naturally. (Rom 5:17) Through God’s mercy we have gained access, but through His grace we have received power to overcome. (Heb 4:14-16) Obedience is thus not a work like that of a slave. Godly obedience is a grace that He works in us, because of our faith in Him. We have come to the place of desperation because we find no good in ourselves, we simply cannot perform His will. (Rom 7:19-25) But thank God through Jesus Christ, I find a power in Him that enables me to overcome sin. (Rom 8:2)
Back to Matthew 7:
In vers 21 Jesus continue with His line of thought saying that not everyone who says to me Lord, Lord shall enter the Kingdom. He is not interested in what we have done for Him, even performing miracles. Did we obey Him? This is what He is looking for. Vers 21 exclaimed: “You who practice lawlessness!”
Let us all come to realize this truth – The law cannot save you and make you right with God. But you cannot disobey the law and say you love Him. Whoever therefor breaks one of these commandments and teaches men so, will be called least in the Kingdom. (Mat 5:19) You are my friends if you do what I command them. (Joh 15:15) My food is to do the will of God. (Joh 4:34) As many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are sons of God. (Rom 8:14) Obedience is important to God.
You cannot divorce your spouse, and say I love God. You are breaking His law! He hates divorce! (Mal 2:16) Read (Mal 2:12-17) It also speaks of people bringing their sacrifices of worship to God, they come with weeping and crying. But you deal treacherously with the wife of your youth? You have wearied the Lord with your words v17.
You cannot be guilty of the following practices and fruit and be named among the elect. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner — not even to eat with such a person. (1 Cor 5:11)
When one turns from these and repent there is mercy and grace. (Heb 4:14) But when one identifies with sin, and line yourself up with it, you will be judged with the sin by the church. “put away from yourself this evil person” (1 Cor 5:13) Paul’s plea to the church in this whole chapter is: Why are you as the church not judging this person? Do you not know that little leaven leavens the whole lump? (v6) He exclaims: as absent from the body but present in the spirit, I have already judged this person! (v3)
God will cut away the branch that does not bear fruit. (John 15:2) If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. (v6)
We cannot escape God’s law. We cannot disobey Him, and think we can correct our rebellion with nice words and emotional worship songs! May we be totally raptured in His love! May we be so filled with His presence and love that shines on our darkness and draws us unto Himself, so that He can heal us. “For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.” (Joh 3:18)
We all like to know God. We even presume we know Him. What a shock it will be one day to hear: “I never knew you; depart from Me!” (Mat 7:23) When we read further in Mathew 7:24-29 Jesus continues to explain why this is so important for us to not just hear His words but to obey Him. When we only hear, but do not obey we are like someone who builds his house on sand. This is why so many Christian leaders and people are losing their testimony and fall into sin. They did not obey! Whether you are a Christian for many years or only a few months the same standard is set for everyone –obedience! You need to mix your hearing with actions of faith. For indeed the gospel was preached to us as well as to them; but the word which they heard did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in those who heard it. (Heb 4:2)
Why do some Christian believers marriage’s fail, are their business not producing good success, and their relationship with people always in troublesome waters? I am over simplifying. But hear the truth: Obedience is good fruit! Obedience is building your house on the rock! Obedience is what gives us authority. (2 Cor 10:6)
though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered. 9 And having been perfected, He became the author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him, (Heb 5:8) Even Jesus had to learn obedience! We do not learn obedience when everything is going well. It is when we struggling through difficulties and hardship, that we need to hear from God what to do. Do not pray to God for the problem to go away. Rather ask Him for a ‘Jesus’ strategy on how to overcome it. We are not victims of people’s wrongdoing. We cannot blame others for our sin. In God, in the scriptures, in the life and way of Christ there is solutions to be found on how to handle every difficulty! Instead of searching for the problem in someone else, rather seek the answer in the Word of God. Let the Holy Spirit guide and teach you His ways. Learn from other believers who have already discovered truths and ways on how to overcome. I have found that with obedience, comes the grace to obey. Before obedience the task may seem daunting, but the moment you agree to do it, you will feel the energy of God’s Spirit working in you to do it. The more you obey, the more you will want to obey. Just do it!
We all know the feeling when your spouse, declares that “they love you” yet when you ask them to do something for you, they forget, or went and did something else for you. This is really frustrating. May God wash our hearts and work His grace of reverence and the fear of the Lord in our hearts, dealing with all rebellion, hardness of heart, unwillingness to yield, resentment, excuses, procrastination, and everything that hinders us to walk an obedient life to His Glory! God is most glorified in us, when Christ is most evident in us!
We receive His obedience by faith.
Grace and Peace
Apostle Jan and Prophet Chantál, called by the grace of God to preach the Gospel of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.